Miscellaneous: Today, it's my birthday. Three people wished me happy birthday:...

By trice - 08/05/2013 17:48 - United States - Austin

Today, it's my birthday. Three people wished me happy birthday: Google, my insurance company, and the place I lease my car from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 372

You deserved it 4 301

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Happy Birthday baby!

By Anonymous - 06/12/2020 18:02 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, it's my birthday. My parents wished me a happy one via text message. We live in the same house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 97

Alexa, play "Unhappy Birthday" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 25/04/2022 04:00 - United States - Brookline

Today, it was my birthday. Nobody said anything, not even my Facebook friends, who probably got a notification about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 173

Birthday Girl

By Anonymous - 14/05/2009 17:43 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I got just three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office, to sing me a happy birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413 834

You deserved it 21 864

By Micawber - 31/01/2011 13:55 - Denmark

Today, it was my birthday. I got ONE birthday greeting: from my bank, telling me they were closing my account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 429

You deserved it 3 467

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 02:33 - United States

Today, the only person to wish me a happy birthday was a survey website. I took their stupid survey out of appreciation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 397

You deserved it 2 320

Close to me

By Furnando - 06/01/2023 00:00

Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 1 154

Happy Birthday

By Anonymous - 24/05/2021 08:01 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, it's my birthday. My boss's birthday is 5 days away. Instead of wishing me happy birthday, the staff decided to surprise my boss with an early gift. We also had to take a picture of him with everyone. I work at another branch alone, and had to post the picture to social media. Happy Birthday to me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 103

By carboncoach - 13/12/2013 17:24 - Egypt

Today, it's my birthday. The only "happy birthday"s I got were from my mom, her Facebook account, and the Facebook account she made for her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 801

You deserved it 3 405

Friends and family

By Anonymous - 19/08/2021 09:59

Today, it was my birthday. None of my family members wished me a happy birthday and neither did the 1,000+ "friends" I have on Facebook either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 353

By rene - 22/08/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I had "lost" a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 875

You deserved it 3 366

abbttmc 12

Wednesday 8 May 2013 23:57

Happy birthday now it's 4 people :)

perdix 29

Wednesday 8 May 2013 23:59

Aw, shit, you mean your dentist forgot? If you show Denny's your driver's license, they'll suddenly remember and give you some free food!

Comments

brendejafulable 41

Thursday 9 May 2013 4:52

Ill eat some cake for you ;p

Elysabeth1 10

Thursday 9 May 2013 4:53

Happy birthday!

staavi 6

Thursday 9 May 2013 4:53

Happy Birthday!

yoyoyowhatup 11

Thursday 9 May 2013 4:57

So technically not a single PERSON said happy birthday…just saying

epicRawrz 16

Thursday 9 May 2013 5:00

Happy Birthday :)

TheWorldGreatest 8

Thursday 9 May 2013 5:12

Happy birthday !

Heava_fml 6

Thursday 9 May 2013 5:15

Happy birthday from Canada :)

britmcpeak 5

Thursday 9 May 2013 5:22

happy birthday! :)

pastispast 7

Thursday 9 May 2013 5:25

Happy Birthday buddy!

WhatsYOURname6 25

Thursday 9 May 2013 5:29

Happy Birthday from here in Ireland! :)

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I arrived for a job interview and I wanted to give a firm handshake to make a good impression, because apparently that's a thing. I squeezed the interviewer's hand so hard I heard a "crack" and they winced in pain. I'm never taking advice from a random LinkedIn post ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 515

Today, I discovered why the toilet seat is often sticky in the morning. My husband is too lazy to lift the seat, instead opting to pee all over it and sleepily wipe it down with loo paper if he notices a splash. He doesn't see why it's a problem since he 'cleans' it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 520

You deserved it 780

The Top

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 487

You deserved it 7 421

Today, I'm moving to almost 1,000 miles to a new state. I packed everything up in the U-Haul and it is en route to the new place. I just realized that it shows up tomorrow and I have no idea where the keys are to unlock the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 779

Today, I got better sleep in my 30-year-old compact car with it being 40 degrees outside than I did in my bed. Got something to look forward to, as I'll be homeless soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 436

You deserved it 337

Today, I went to a bar which has two stories. I was on the top floor and then went downstairs. As I was going down, I recognised a boy in a wheelchair and his friends trying to get him up. I helped and took the wheelchair. One of his friends decided it would be a good moment to steal my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 396

You deserved it 1 846

Today, I realized why I never hear my voice echoing when I sing to my boyfriend on Skype; he just mutes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 724

You deserved it 12 039

Today, the girl I would have risked my life to shag in highschool got in touch and was clearly fishing for a date, but in the past ten years, she’s been in prison for arson, become 10 stone overweight, a chainsmoker with a visible moustache, and 6 kids with 4 men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 174

You deserved it 232