By TeeJay - 01/06/2009 14:06 - United States

Spicy
Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks 64 473
You deserved it 7 480
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Top comments

AndelleRae 9

Self-masturbation? Is there any other kind? Lol. I'm sorry. I'm not usually a grammar Nazi on these websites, but I felt like being a smart ass. Maybe she got it for you to spice things up in your sex life? She might like the idea of you using it. I don't know. I don't really think this is an FML, but I'm sorry that you were unhappy with it.

83 11
Eresbel 0

This isn't an FML, this is just an idiot who doesn't realize what a nice wife he has. She doesn't have to have sex with you whenever you want, but she still wants you to be happy and satisfied, so she buys you an aid to help you out whenever she can't. That's thoughtful and kind. F your wife's life because she's got such a prick for a husband.

52 9

Comments

thisishilarious 0

your wife is a ****

0 0
plexico 3

What a sweet lady! My wife just tell me to leave her alone and go do it with my bare hand!

0 0
pasiphae9 5

Thats a great prezzie. What are you complaining about?

0 0
Hey_Darl 0

What a slap in the face, maybe you were that bad in bed, maybe your wife though it'd be a good idea for you to practice on your very own fleshlight! Expect her to be cheating on you with some Hispanic plumber named Chavo. He's a nice man. I kinda miss him... :( oh and YDI.

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fearbeforeme 0

On the brightside: your wife has no problem with the idea of you masterbating around her. Some women freak out when they find their so still masterbates.

0 0
Ilovelife07 0

dude, that rules, i hope it was a fleshlight

0 0
Random_Poster 0

Be glad b/c she's probably an enormous sweaty beast anyway. close your eyes and dream of Meagan Fox.

0 0
maedoc 0

@ 6, 13, 15, etc.. Learn how to use words! Masturbation is not just done by one's self. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/masturbation 1. the stimulation or manipulation of one's own genitals, esp. to ******; sexual self-gratification. 2. the stimulation, by manual or other means exclusive of coitus, of another's genitals, esp. to ******. He was just being specific. Stop being such pricks.

0 0