Miscellaneous: Today, it was my turn to take out the trash. While walking to...

By lolographic24 - 13/02/2010 13:44 - Norway

Today, it was my turn to take out the trash. While walking to the dumpster, I slip and fall. It doesn't really hurt, so I get up and go to the dumpster, but the top is frozen stuck. It won't budge. Then I really pull with a lot of force, and the lid swings open and busts my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 343

You deserved it 4 151

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Slippery

By Dana - 29/01/2010 18:59 - United States

Today, it was very windy and snowy and the neighborhood's garbage cans were blowing everywhere. I had already brought mine in and I saw my neighbor's being blown away. Thinking I'd be nice, I went out to pick it up. Just before I could however, the wind smashed it into me and I fell on the ice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 110

You deserved it 3 208

By Anthony Hathaway - 19/10/2018 13:30

Today, as I was taking the garbage out, I tripped over my own feet, causing my knee to dislocate in such a way that it shattered the back of my kneecap and fractured my femur. I guess I won't be taking the garbage out again anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 951

You deserved it 211

By badluckantonio - 25/08/2011 05:29 - Canada

Today, I was taking out the garbage at work when I slipped and fell into the garbage container. The scent was so bad that a bus driver denied me a ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 041

You deserved it 3 030

By rholt - 14/01/2014 06:48 - United States - Baldwin City

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 471

You deserved it 8 090

By whoops - 29/06/2014 20:37 - United States - Hicksville

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 339

You deserved it 60 926

Dumpstered

By KO: - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 945

You deserved it 5 243

By Snowman - 24/01/2016 22:21 - United States - Harrisonburg

Today, I was shovelling snow out of my driveway and broke my shovel. So I tried cleaning the driveway with a garbage lid. That broke too. Now I'm out snow shovel, AND a garbage lid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 896

You deserved it 4 807

By B-ran - 05/01/2010 00:29 - France

Today, I was taking a dump at the Home Depot. After I was finished, I was bent over and pulling the toilet paper out of the holder. I pulled too hard, causing the dispenser lid to fling open and smack me on the back of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 783

You deserved it 21 621

Toot toot!

By Anonymous - 23/11/2022 18:00

Today, I slipped and fell on the ice while attending a community event for work. A man came to help me up, and I farted really loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 137

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 308

rawr_iliketacos 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 16:20

i hate it when people don't use past tense.

Mx_Rider 6

Saturday 13 February 2010 16:21

LMFAO this fml is full of fail. from the moment you started typing to the part where you busted your damn nose :D

Comments

haxxor 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 16:21

haha you must feel like garbage fyl

hbkkbh6h8 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 16:21

lol

liveurlife512 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 16:24

shouldve given up

perdix 29

Saturday 13 February 2010 16:26

Dumpster-diving can be dangerous -- the hobos make it look easy.

WordsOfHope 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 17:36

agree with17

VanessaVander 2

Saturday 13 February 2010 16:27

daaamn that sux! fyl

Mx_Rider 6

Saturday 13 February 2010 16:30

lmao! i moderated this fml below VVVV Today, snickerdoodles touched me in my special place, FML

kaydee085 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 16:39

lmao

Mx_Rider 6

Saturday 13 February 2010 16:45

@ 27 you have amazing eyes :D

WordsOfHope 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 17:38

@30 freak

Ajjas013 6

Saturday 13 February 2010 18:21

@66 Freak.

deadsrs 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 4:34

he's no freak it's moderately not a lie!

Mx_Rider 6

Saturday 13 February 2010 16:31

troll fail.

quinz 4

Saturday 13 February 2010 16:32

Your switching of tenses makes my empathy level go down a lot.

AngryNinja 1

Saturday 13 February 2010 16:47

the fact that op is Norwegian could cause this to happen. English is probably not their first language.

Ajjas013 6

Saturday 13 February 2010 18:19

Ninja, OP busted his nose on purpose so he could have something to write about.

AngryNinja 1

Saturday 13 February 2010 19:20

what a spotlight junkie. psh.

afarr 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 19:34

yeah, i pull my dick off all the time to put it on fml. FML

AngryNinja 1

Saturday 13 February 2010 19:47

you only have a strap-on? i'm so sorry. :(

Peroxide 3

Saturday 13 February 2010 16:33

The start "Today, it was my turn to take out the trash" made me think the OP was Arnold Schwarzenegger but this fml is as bad as Kindergarten Cop. Who is your daddy and what does he do?

afarr 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 19:38

mah choppa is 4 hookers only. Mercy; you're an exception ;)

Bugatti_Veyron 1

Saturday 13 February 2010 16:41

ydi for living in an apartment. if your parents weren't lazy fatasses and had real jobs maybe this wouldn't have happened!

MF12 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 16:48

you know we ARE still in a recession- oh wait. you don't know what that is, right? well, see it's when a bunch of people's mommies and daddies lose their jobs because their work place doesn't have much money. still don't understand? well, you're a spoiled rich brat who thinks the world owes you something. guess what! it doesn't.

pyroplatypus 3

Saturday 13 February 2010 17:11

Bugatti you fail at life Perhaps the OP A) Owns a condo B) Is living at university C) Has one of those neighborhoods where each street has a dumpster so that the dump trucks only have to stop at each street instead of each house D) Lives in a city where houses are out of most people's price ranges (kinda of like in NY - how many people in NYC do you think actually have a house?) E) Just prefers living in an apartment (no utilities to pay for in a lot of cases, the building owner has to take care of most issues and malfunctions, less responsibilities with the city, etc.) How is where the OP lives any of your business?