Miscellaneous: Today, it was my turn to take out the trash. While walking to...

FML for mobile
Free

By lolographic24 - 13/02/2010 13:44 - Norway

Today, it was my turn to take out the trash. While walking to the dumpster, I slip and fall. It doesn't really hurt, so I get up and go to the dumpster, but the top is frozen stuck. It won't budge. Then I really pull with a lot of force, and the lid swings open and busts my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 350

You deserved it 4 154

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Slippery

By Dana - 29/01/2010 18:59 - United States

Today, it was very windy and snowy and the neighborhood's garbage cans were blowing everywhere. I had already brought mine in and I saw my neighbor's being blown away. Thinking I'd be nice, I went out to pick it up. Just before I could however, the wind smashed it into me and I fell on the ice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 113

You deserved it 3 209

By Anthony Hathaway - 19/10/2018 13:30

Today, as I was taking the garbage out, I tripped over my own feet, causing my knee to dislocate in such a way that it shattered the back of my kneecap and fractured my femur. I guess I won't be taking the garbage out again anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 957

You deserved it 211

By badluckantonio - 25/08/2011 05:29 - Canada

Today, I was taking out the garbage at work when I slipped and fell into the garbage container. The scent was so bad that a bus driver denied me a ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 046

You deserved it 3 031

By rholt - 14/01/2014 06:48 - United States - Baldwin City

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 479

You deserved it 8 097

By whoops - 29/06/2014 20:37 - United States - Hicksville

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 340

You deserved it 60 942

Dumpstered

By KO: - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 958

You deserved it 5 252

By Snowman - 24/01/2016 22:21 - United States - Harrisonburg

Today, I was shovelling snow out of my driveway and broke my shovel. So I tried cleaning the driveway with a garbage lid. That broke too. Now I'm out snow shovel, AND a garbage lid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 903

You deserved it 4 813

By B-ran - 05/01/2010 00:29 - France

Today, I was taking a dump at the Home Depot. After I was finished, I was bent over and pulling the toilet paper out of the holder. I pulled too hard, causing the dispenser lid to fling open and smack me on the back of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 788

You deserved it 21 630

Toot toot!

By Anonymous - 23/11/2022 18:00

Today, I slipped and fell on the ice while attending a community event for work. A man came to help me up, and I farted really loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 138

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 316

rawr_iliketacos 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 16:20

i hate it when people don't use past tense.

Mx_Rider 6

Saturday 13 February 2010 16:21

LMFAO this fml is full of fail. from the moment you started typing to the part where you busted your damn nose :D

Comments

diegoz281 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 17:54

bad English?

blastvortex 3

Saturday 13 February 2010 18:01

Wopz. You should be more careful, OP.

kirky 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 18:09

did someone lick you so u climaxed and had passionate 3 way sex with 2 milfs that wear D size bras then u gave then oral and anal?

pepperandroses 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 18:09

YDI for not writing it in the past tense.

ILoveMyLifeSoMuc 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 18:18

#64 u r soo right. YDI LEARN CORRECT ENGLISH!!!!!

I_hate_it_all 5

Saturday 13 February 2010 18:42

yea #68, 'cause your grammar is so great. I can see YOU use proper english.

JazzProphet 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 18:25

What is with everyone posting things that start in past tense and change to present tense after the first sentence?

kirky 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 18:37

number 63 sed it the best

xPGxTigerx19x 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 19:13

epic fail lol

hazza247 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 19:13

That happened to me aswell a week ago except coming in I stepped on a snail and got it all over my sock!

101Alex101 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 19:27

Sombody failed their English class

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Teenagers Kids Animals Technology Dogs Awkward Zoom Job interview Work Photography Parenting Cute Money Capitalism Health Birthday AITA Family Healthy Lifestyle Sports My ex Mental health Parents Weird Bodyshaming Food Video games Gamers

The Top

Today, I realized I probably have more chances of finding intimacy and companionship working as an escort than by online dating, because if I get paid to spend time with someone, I’ll decide to just go with it and enjoy myself, but on an actual date I will most likely second-guess and self-sabotage all the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 406

Today, my boss sent out an email with the subject line "Urgent". He accidentally left the body of the email blank. I replied to all staff "You're firing blanks Peter". I later heard that his wife once got drunk and told everyone that they couldn't have kids because he has a low sperm count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 587

You deserved it 11 611

The Top

Today, it's 1 a.m. and once again a freaking bird has flew into my house from the attic. My cats are of course all crazy right now as it sits in my room, in a high corner beyond reach. My children are sleeping and I have no way to let it outside from where it is right now. Oh and it's freezing outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 616

You deserved it 126

Today, my boyfriend gave me grief about my drinking. This would be fine, if he were sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 119

You deserved it 796

Today, it was the first sunny spring day that I had off from work. I spent the morning making a picnic lunch and took my girlfriend to a beautiful spot overlooking the lake. I did not count on a bird flying by with perfect poop aim as soon as we spread out the food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 684

You deserved it 238

Today, for the second time, I had an argument with my mother about whether William Shakespeare was a real person or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 494

You deserved it 2 620

Today, it was my one-year anniversary with my girlfriend, but instead of celebrating, we had to attend a family funeral with a bunch of people who "don't agree with our lifestyle." To make matters worse, I received my first ticket on the way there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 140

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 938

You deserved it 7 118