By theregoesmyspermcount - 02/08/2009 22:45 - United States

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML
I agree, your life sucks 69 854
You deserved it 5 704
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Top comments

redbluegreen 40

I'd suggest you invest in a giant human bubble. Or a cup.

100 4

Comments

Luckster 0

If he does, you can report him for domestic abuse. Keep your phone ready for that important call.

3 5
Finnboghi 0

And you're the reason I don't care when someone cries abuse. He's not doing it to assert dominance or to abuse his son, he's doing it as a joke and to help his son with his reflexes. Of course, I'm more of the school of "think ahead - wear a cast-iron cup".

3 1
Luckster 0

If the father actually proceeds with his threat, then it's still abuse. It's especially worse if he really does get knocked in the nuts hard enough. There's a high chance he won't be able to have children in the future. ..... Now that I think about it, that might not be a bad thing.

2 1
zoolander423 3

Please, if only getting hit in the balls the world would be a lot better, and less crowded, place. It would take some serious incident to cause permanent damage. Besides, it sounds like his dad is joking around, and so I hardly think that this would constitute abuse.

1 1
lordmoe 0

it actually doesn't take much to have no chance of having kids. I know a guy who was kicked in the balls because a girl aimed for his backpack and missed, now he can't have kids.

4 0
mj2123 0

Of course he's doing it to assert dominance. And punching someone in the balls is pretty much never a joke. Honest to ******* God.

2 2
tko 0

i suppose you're against parents spanking their children, and every kid getting trophies in a "competition" u pussy ass bitch

5 2
Finnboghi 0

Wow. You have issues. If he's an ex-marine, he doesn't exactly need to prove that he's tough. Not everything every guy does is the assertion of feminist views on men. And when guys do it, it usually is a joke. If a girl does it, then she's probably being abusive.

0 2
hiro777 0

stfu his dad is just improveing his reflexes its not domestic abuse you liberal retard

1 3
zip123 0

Haha! I LOVE your name!

3 0
Chasted 0

"Today, I hit my son in the nuts to improve his reflexes and now I'm in jail. Inconsiderate Basted FML."

9 1
null_fml 11

Basted? In his own juices, I presume?

0 1
null_fml 11

Good sir, I do believe I've just been owned.

0 1
STVader 0

yup ur a noob or, as he'd say, a neb

0 2
girandwogpig 0

I pictured Joey from friends when I read that....

0 1
Tubasaurus 0

You should start randomly calling child protection services to "improve his reflexes".

11 1
InigoMontoya 0

Get a glock, load it with rubber bullets, and tell him you want to improve his pain tolerance.

7 0
wellinever 5

What's wrong with using live bullets? Warn him you'll start shooting without warning to improve his will to live a better life.

7 0
mndz_mkl 0

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

0 0
RomulusV 0

dude that sucks but damn that is funny it happens to the best of us but not always dads sometimes it metal poles from stupid friends

0 0
PenNameHere 0

Take up a martial art. I do taekwondo and now my reflexes are so sensitive I flinch whenever someone jerks towards me like they're gonna hit me. It's gotten to the point where people ask if I'm abused.

0 0
mcdys 0

ufc is way better than taekwondo. its got taekwondo moves and much more

0 0
tko 0

you know that ufc is not a fighting style, right?

0 0
Baroness542 6

#29, I do that too. And I'm not in Martial Arts. I just have good reflexes. Either that or I just flinch wayy too much. Maybe both?

0 0
djk 0

ahahahahahah that is awesome. Maybe you shouldn't suck and have slow reflexes.

0 3