Miscellaneous: Today, my 4-year-old niece told me she likes it when I'm around... - FML

By squishy - 11/02/2010 00:07 - United States

Today, my 4-year-old niece told me she likes it when I'm around because I'm "squishy and smell like fried chicken all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 471

You deserved it 25 610

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Same thing different taste

By Zedscar - 15/07/2017 22:30 - United States - Martinsburg

Today, my 8-year-old nephew told me he liked the way I smelt. Apparently I smell like "cat food and cheese." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 866

You deserved it 647

By Noname - 03/02/2009 20:25 - United States

Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 737

You deserved it 7 802

By girlmeetsworld - 18/02/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 137

You deserved it 13 659

By anon - 23/03/2015 02:24 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 330

You deserved it 2 937

By sigsigsignify - 06/12/2018 14:00

Today, my 3 year old future niece was combing my hair while I was watching a movie with the future in-laws. She kept leaving saying she was going to "go get the comb wet". I assumed she meant in the bathroom sink. Turns out she was just going around behind the couch and licking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 474

You deserved it 435

Nice of her

By Bill - 06/12/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 967

You deserved it 18 122

By Anonymous - 12/04/2017 16:00

Today, my 3-year-old niece brushed my hair, making sure to be gentle so she wouldn't hurt me. When it was time to brush the front, she made sure to meticulously brush my mustache. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 319

You deserved it 1 049

By Lickmebaby - 12/02/2017 11:00 - United Kingdom - Enfield

Today, I woke up to see my 8-year-old cousin licking my hand. All of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 751

You deserved it 521

No filter

By Judiee - 28/02/2009 10:52 - United States

Today, I was introduced to my boyfriend's family at a family reunion for the first time. As I sat on the couch, his 4 year-old sister comes in and jumps onto my lap. For a moment I was happy to think his sister liked me, only to hear her say, "You're fat! I like fat things." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 894

You deserved it 5 776

By Fatlady43 - 19/01/2010 05:08 - United States

Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 283

You deserved it 6 521

Next

Top comments

MadaZer0 8

Thursday 11 February 2010 9:45

Hey at least your liked.

MermaidSongXOXO 6

Thursday 11 February 2010 9:48

That's why I like you around, too :) *Steals chicken wing from underneath OP's fat rolls.*

Comments

HanaxD 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 10:51

It was supposed to say chicken, not checked. o_o

Rickymonkeypants 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 10:55

not that many black jokes....WHY?!?!?

MermaidSongXOXO 6

Thursday 11 February 2010 10:57

Because most of us aren't racist bastards.

SomeonesGoneDie 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 11:19

ZING

SomeonesGoneDie 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 11:04

bahaaha I was gonna say that! ah, funny stuff :D

kaydee085 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 11:19

lol she's just a kid ...

love2bu 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 11:28

well.....at least it wasnt.....you look like her favorite animal "the hippo" and you smell like a petting zoo..

onnielief 4

Thursday 11 February 2010 11:53

seems to me that you are slightly overweight caused by eating to much fried chicken, just an assumption though

Maddoctor 10

Thursday 11 February 2010 12:11

I wonder if Perdix knows you exist...and if people will mistake one for the other. I don't really see that happening though, since you two have very different commentary.

Eddie_Paints 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 12:27

Muy Tai.

asdfghjkl14 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 12:28

damn that's ****** up

ilikeyouuu 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 13:24

fried chicken scented soap? duhhh

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend, for our first time having sex, wanted to do stepbrother roleplay. Not only is that odd for our first time, it’s a weird fetish to have, especially when she actually does have a stepbrother. We ended up not finishing having sex, it was too weird for me FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 956

You deserved it 279

Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 330

You deserved it 4 254

The Top

Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 270

You deserved it 5 192

Today, I watched my boss try to stick a magnet to cardboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 808

You deserved it 3 812

Today, I was swiping on Tinder when the app told me there was one else left to meet. I haven't had any matches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 207

Today, while I was in the shower, my 4 year-old son wondered what would happen if he put 6 eggs in the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 298

You deserved it 3 087

Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 436

You deserved it 21 063

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 563

You deserved it 19 294