Intimacy: Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now...

By Anonymous - 04/02/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 983

You deserved it 7 445

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/11/2009 20:34 - Canada

Today, my roommate's boyfriend moved in. I'm in love with him. Now I get to live with the happy couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 112

You deserved it 9 655

By xXfloatingshitlogXx - 03/11/2012 16:04 - Norway - Jessheim

Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 169

You deserved it 2 172

By Order of the Dangling Testicles - 28/01/2014 20:28 - United States - Astoria

Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 110

You deserved it 4 333

Boundaries, dude!

By Anonymous - 14/09/2019 06:01

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 498

You deserved it 236

We're all in hell

By Looking4AnApartment - 16/02/2021 15:30 - United States - Bellmore

Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 156

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my boyfriend moved. He moved from my room... to my housemate's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 679

You deserved it 3 610

By BreakingTheMood - 13/11/2013 18:08 - Finland - Vanda

Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin wall separating our bedrooms during sex. They didn't even stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 958

You deserved it 4 473

By CooBerry3851 - 28/08/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 708

You deserved it 3 253

By Anonymous - 20/10/2010 07:00 - United States

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 355

You deserved it 3 531

By yourstruly - 11/02/2010 19:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 714

You deserved it 2 361

Mallorydomio 0

Friday 4 February 2011 12:09

Hahaha fatties need love too

realsdmf 4

Friday 4 February 2011 12:12

Fatty sex is the best sex. Also, they were currently having more sexy time than you.

Comments

enoughgrace 4

Friday 4 February 2011 14:06

go, fight them on the beaches!

perdix 29

Friday 4 February 2011 14:08

Wouldn't it sound more like The Battle of the Bulge?

sjch 0

Friday 4 February 2011 22:37

you win forever =]

Asoman 3

Friday 4 February 2011 14:20

fat chicks need live too! .... but they gotta pay for it....

Lyssaboo13 2

Friday 4 February 2011 14:27

hahahahahah.(:

onepluszero 0

Friday 4 February 2011 14:33

agreeeeeed!!!!!!!

onepluszero 0

Friday 4 February 2011 14:33

agreeeeeed!!!!!!!

onepluszero 0

Friday 4 February 2011 14:33

agreeeeeed!!!!!!!

onepluszero 0

Friday 4 February 2011 14:33

agreeeeeed!!!!!!!

lukethe 0

Friday 4 February 2011 14:33

Only in America.

Jimboom 11

Friday 4 February 2011 14:39

Fire in the hole!!! Take cover!! Just hope for your sake they aren't into watersports or anything like that.

Keywords

Break-ups Christmas Love Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I was been accused of stealing lunches from the fridge at work. I’m a huge germaphobe and would NEVER eat someone else’s food, but because I’m the fattest one in the office, everyone automatically blamed me. Hashtag fatgirlproblems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 152

Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 004

You deserved it 42 709

The Top

Today, I had to, again, explain to my girlfriend that her jokes about her cheating on me are not funny in any form. Not just because of the topic, but also that she actually has cheated me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 226

You deserved it 530

Today, after 27 years of dedicated and loyal service, it finally happened, I was robbed at gunpoint at work. The whole heist only took about 30 seconds and the perpetrator took off without taking anything from me. I still don't get it. What kind of screwball would hijack a garbage truck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 484

You deserved it 207

Today, it's been two years since I've started having agonizing pain during sex, and worse period pains than when I was a teenager. So far, no gynecologist can figure out what's wrong and endometriosis has been ruled out after several painful examinations and tests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 132

Today, I got a concussion while teaching a kid how to be a safe and cautious swimmer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 083

You deserved it 5 140

Today, while on the bus, the girl in front of me asked me if I could find the orange she'd dropped. I couldn't see it, but when I told her that there was no orange there, she gave me the strangest look. She'd said ring, not orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 021

You deserved it 604

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try a new "exotic" restaurant that just recently opened. I paid almost a hundred bucks for a bowl of oily meat sludge and a bunch of mushy vegetables, then got to shit my brains out all night. Exotic my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 133

Same thing different taste

Boundaries, dude!

We're all in hell

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