Kids: Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made...

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By offbeans - 17/02/2009 02:29 - United States

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 267 542

You deserved it 90 914

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Same thing different taste

Sorry dude

By EatYourGreens - 21/08/2021 06:01 - Australia - Augustine Heights

Today, my four year-old very loudly asked me if the little person she saw at the shops was like that because he didn't eat his vegetables. He definitely heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 151

By Anonymous - 24/11/2012 13:59 - United States

Today, I was playing with my four year-old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 472

You deserved it 7 856

By smashed - 24/09/2012 14:33 - United States

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 019

You deserved it 6 403

By vballqt201 - 21/06/2009 16:03 - United States

Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 397

You deserved it 17 289

Trash talking little dude

By Proud momma - 03/11/2024 20:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my toddler learned the phrase “Shut up.” He now loudly says it to anyone who speaks to him, including our elderly neighbor, whose only crime was complimenting him on his shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 196

By UngratefulBrat - 28/12/2012 07:03 - United States - New York

Today, my 6-year-old nephew opened his Christmas gift. The first words out of his mouth were, "This is cheap." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 679

You deserved it 6 843

By WickedRene - 02/08/2014 01:57 - United States - Rochester

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 952

You deserved it 8 229

By blah blah daddy - 02/10/2010 23:08 - United States

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 440

You deserved it 10 381

By AuntPeePee - 20/05/2013 11:57 - United States

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 473

You deserved it 3 565

By parentfail - 11/12/2010 14:44 - United Kingdom

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 479

You deserved it 70 766

sharsharbinks 0

Tuesday 17 February 2009 10:41

I love this one! I laughed so hard!

killer_corn 0

Tuesday 17 February 2009 11:09

I don't take crap from kids. I would of destroyed the Green ones.

Comments

jiequals3 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 23:04

Give that kid some cake. He deserves it!

mayhembaby 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 23:15

THI S IS THE FUNNIEST ******* FML THAT I HAVE EVER ENCOUNTERED!

My2864 1

Friday 3 April 2009 0:35

WHAHAHA xD

persephone13 0

Monday 6 April 2009 18:12

ROFL...kids learn some crazy things at school. Or from dad. :P Not so much a FML, but a Fyour brother/sister's life. At least you get to leave and laugh all the way home...I sure would.

obviousxo 0

Monday 6 April 2009 19:41

hahaha my fav. (:

ladedum 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 5:51

i laughed but then i admitted to myself that had that been me, i'dda given the little shit something to shut the **** up about. lols buuuuuut thats js me.

rhe_b 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 7:01

#9 ur hilarious hahha this is funny kids are great

Emmett_Luver_101 0

Monday 13 April 2009 14:44

164...your weird as for the poster, i find this hilarious but i would have took his play doh martians and stepped on them, then i would have said "now its squished martian!