Work: Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

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By grant b - 09/06/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 410

You deserved it 6 095

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/07/2012 05:29 - United States - Dallas

Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 020

You deserved it 9 881

By HelpMe1 - 06/11/2014 06:53 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 259

You deserved it 2 954

By corey - 28/02/2012 03:41 - United States

Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 261

You deserved it 2 337

Seize the means of production

By vikts - 29/05/2012 17:52 - Luxembourg - Olm

Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 352

You deserved it 1 956

Sure, come on in…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - La Mesa

Today, while working third shift alone at a gas station, I had to deal with a crazy guy tripping balls and asking me if it was okay to bring a gun into the place. I don't get paid nearly enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 668

You deserved it 1 662

By Sudokori - 07/09/2017 01:30

Today, my coworker paid me back the $15 I let him borrow and we shook hands. Later, I was called into my boss's office, where he threatened to fire me for doing a drug deal in front of customers. The police are getting involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 258

You deserved it 269

Tonight, on Asshole Bosses…

By Anonymous - 03/10/2019 22:00

Today, I went to pick up my last paycheck, since I was fired last week. My boss said he wasn't going to give it to me. I told him it's illegal not to, and he told me with a shit-eating grin, "What are you gonna do? Arrest me?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 033

You deserved it 138

Lay the blame

By jobless - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a guy came into my gas station, showed me the gun on his hip, and asked me to kindly empty the register. My asshole boss claimed afterwards that because we live in an open carry state, and because the guy didn't point the gun at me, that there was no actual robbery and I just gave him free money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 340

You deserved it 2 887

By Killmenow - 11/02/2009 14:08 - United Kingdom

Today, having just told me what a great job I've been doing and how he'd really like to start giving me some more responsibility, my boss asked me if I'd sharpen a couple of pencils for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 740

You deserved it 2 781

Know your place

By Anonymous - 06/12/2014 18:23 - United States

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his goddamn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 494

You deserved it 9 053

visiON123 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 12:05

Isn't that's how everyone is paid in Texas?

Valentina_Baby 7

Thursday 9 June 2011 12:08

And that's how you survive the zombie apocalypse

Comments

theporkchop 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 2:59

guns never lose their value unlike our dollar

McGruber 2

Friday 17 June 2011 4:13

I can't see why this would not be a reasonable solution

Grand_Cookie 21

Monday 20 June 2011 5:07

I'll trade you jobs

callofdutyrox 0

Monday 20 June 2011 9:00

awseum man!!! i wld just luv that

Onlynamethatwasn 0

Monday 11 July 2011 22:03

awesome!

ryan190187 2

Sunday 31 July 2011 19:37

YES would be the correct response to that question pmsl

FluffyNinjaBunny 6

Wednesday 3 August 2011 0:32

if you sold them, you'd probubly make more than your paycheck anyway

tjracer10 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 0:00

Definitely would have said yes!

bfaikey 9

Thursday 11 August 2011 16:56

Meanwhile, in Texas....

joeymo304 9

Saturday 13 August 2011 6:11

I'll go work for him

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The Top

Today, I parked downtown for a few minutes to pick up a pizza. As I was getting out of my car, a sketchy guy came up and asked me for $5. I told him to get lost and walked away. I walked back to the lot with my pizza and my car was gone. The sketchy guy was a parking attendant. He had my car towed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 713

You deserved it 70 865

Today, my side piece told me that she’s pregnant with her husband’s baby. She refuses to break up with me, even though I'm no longer interested. She keeps crying and telling me, “It’s your fault!” I didn’t even know she was married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 2 091

The Top

Today, my ex messaged me, saying he got his new girlfriend pregnant and that he thinks I have something to do with it. He thinks I put it in her head that they should have a kid together, when he says he didn't want any in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 642

You deserved it 149

Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 250

You deserved it 6 272

Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 113

You deserved it 3 553

Today, after months of getting shockingly more action from my girlfriend then at any point in our last 6 months together, I found out I’m getting more because she cut back on her formerly unmentioned husband’s “access.” Apparently, he refuses to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 751

You deserved it 389

Today, I was lectured by my mom who saw me trying to play on my Switch during a weekday. The thing is, she doesn't even give me any time to play in the week, and then calls me out whenever I try to get a few decent hours on my Meta Quest and Switch during the weekends. Stop dictating me; give me a goddamn break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 439

Today, my mom's dog saw a cat in our yard. I watched as he tried to jump at it, only to smack face-first into the window. He did this twice more before curling up on the floor and whimpering pitifully. When my mom came in and saw him there, and me laughing, she accused me of beating him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 727

You deserved it 7 333