Work: Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

By grant b - 09/06/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 405

You deserved it 6 092

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/07/2012 05:29 - United States - Dallas

Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 014

You deserved it 9 874

By HelpMe1 - 06/11/2014 06:53 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 248

You deserved it 2 951

By corey - 28/02/2012 03:41 - United States

Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 260

You deserved it 2 335

Seize the means of production

By vikts - 29/05/2012 17:52 - Luxembourg - Olm

Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 343

You deserved it 1 955

Sure, come on in…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - La Mesa

Today, while working third shift alone at a gas station, I had to deal with a crazy guy tripping balls and asking me if it was okay to bring a gun into the place. I don't get paid nearly enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 662

You deserved it 1 657

By Sudokori - 07/09/2017 01:30

Today, my coworker paid me back the $15 I let him borrow and we shook hands. Later, I was called into my boss's office, where he threatened to fire me for doing a drug deal in front of customers. The police are getting involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 254

You deserved it 268

Tonight, on Asshole Bosses…

By Anonymous - 03/10/2019 22:00

Today, I went to pick up my last paycheck, since I was fired last week. My boss said he wasn't going to give it to me. I told him it's illegal not to, and he told me with a shit-eating grin, "What are you gonna do? Arrest me?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 028

You deserved it 135

Lay the blame

By jobless - 13/09/2015 14:07 - United States

Today, a guy came into my gas station, showed me the gun on his hip, and asked me to kindly empty the register. My asshole boss claimed afterwards that because we live in an open carry state, and because the guy didn't point the gun at me, that there was no actual robbery and I just gave him free money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 728

You deserved it 2 813

By Killmenow - 11/02/2009 14:08 - United Kingdom

Today, having just told me what a great job I've been doing and how he'd really like to start giving me some more responsibility, my boss asked me if I'd sharpen a couple of pencils for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 735

You deserved it 2 776

Know your place

By Anonymous - 06/12/2014 18:23 - United States

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his goddamn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 479

You deserved it 9 051

visiON123 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 12:05

Isn't that's how everyone is paid in Texas?

Valentina_Baby 7

Thursday 9 June 2011 12:08

And that's how you survive the zombie apocalypse

Comments

Magnimus 4

Saturday 11 June 2011 8:54

Better guns than peanuts, 'cause guns are awesome. I wish I got paid in guns.

Magnimus 4

Saturday 11 June 2011 8:57

Tell me how to apply where you work, 'cause that's the kind of boss I want to have.

lovepinkandzombi 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 11:42

Do it.

DaniBee420 6

Saturday 11 June 2011 18:24

hahaha love ur pic

cd7accord 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 20:20

I fail to see a problem unless the guns are stolen...

cyanidesandwich 21

Saturday 11 June 2011 21:19

Something tells me he is a true redneck

jordan259 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 23:26

id have accepted the offer in a heartbeat

GoArmy6624 7

Saturday 11 June 2011 23:39

a thousand times yes!

tydoherty8 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:49

that's an amazing deal if there decent guns u can sell them and make lots of money

iluvanimegurl 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 1:48

isn't tht better? if u dont like it sell it :D

999pun999 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 4:54

AND YOU SAID YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSsssss

Keywords

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The Top

Today, we were running late because my hair got tangled in the curtains. My mother-in-law got so angry, she hacked at it, leaving me with a bald patch, then went and sat in the car as though we were still going anywhere with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 094

You deserved it 200

Today, my college class has a strict rule that ANY absence, even if it's because you're sick and have a doctor's note, will drop your grade a letter grade. I have a chronic illness. Today is the second time in the first two weeks that I've had to show up to class with a bucket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 568

You deserved it 205

The Top

Today, I stood up to the school bully in a fight. Rather than thank me, the whole school, including some of his victims, now treat me like a psycho. Apparently they tolerated him because of his terrible foster parents, so me hitting him was actually way out of line, and insensitive. How did I become the bad guy here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 540

You deserved it 161

Today, my girlfriend’s mom just got engaged to her boyfriend and he claimed it was me that inspired him to ask her. My girlfriend hates him, so to say I’m in the doghouse is an understatement, I’m lucky to still be in the garden, never mind the doghouse, and I have no idea what I did to inspire him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 67

Today, I was at work, the Disney Store. A little boy was crying so I went over to him. After talking to him for a little while I found out he couldn't find his mother. When he became comfortable I went to help him stand up, he choked back his tears and then puked all over me from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 138

You deserved it 2 192

Today, I met my father, who I hadn't seen since I was a baby, at Subway. He made me pay for his meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 168

You deserved it 288

Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 533

You deserved it 36 498

Today, I was let go from a position that I spent 11 years pouring my heart into. I was fired for ranting in an group chat, after getting 37 minutes of sleep in two days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 483