Work: Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker...

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By cthulhu help me - 01/03/2013 18:22 - United States - Cabot

Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 670

You deserved it 2 833

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Same thing different taste

By HelpMe1 - 06/11/2014 06:53 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 259

You deserved it 2 955

I don't wanna…

By Anonymous - 28/11/2015 06:57 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 887

You deserved it 1 707

By NotJobbing - 11/08/2015 23:05 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 463

You deserved it 3 157

By AnonUser464 - 08/01/2013 16:40 - United States

Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 525

You deserved it 3 426

By :( - 06/06/2013 23:37 - United States

Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 923

You deserved it 4 758

Get rid of him

By Anonymous - 01/11/2014 18:59 - United States - Deatsville

Today, my boss is still refusing to fire my psychotic coworker, who's made it his mission to insult, annoy, bully and threaten me every day into making me quit. My boss is convinced the guy just has "assburger's" and that the company would get sued if we fired him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 010

You deserved it 3 501

Just Say Yes

By bringthemback - 29/03/2014 10:34 - United States - Columbia

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 131

You deserved it 4 258

By Anonymous - 09/07/2016 15:14

Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 993

You deserved it 914

By anonymous - 31/03/2015 16:47 - United States - Denver

Today, I was fired from job as a personal trainer. Why? Because I was working out with a friend while off-duty. Apparently, working out with a friend on a day off means I am training them under the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 887

You deserved it 2 740

Get out of here

By Anon - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was telling my coworker that I was considering quitting the shady, 50-shades-of-scum business we work at. He snitched to our boss, who quickly fired me on bullshit charges of incompetence, theft, and workplace bullying. I guess I'm not getting a good reference from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 695

You deserved it 6 020

HandaPitler 1

Saturday 2 March 2013 2:59

Write him a note and sign it with your bosses name

ShannyAK 16

Saturday 2 March 2013 2:56

I get why your boss wants you to fire him, but that's not fair

Comments

perdix 29

Saturday 2 March 2013 5:32

Sounds like a job for Tanya. She's more of a bad-ass than any pumped-up 'roid rage dude. Aren't you glad to have replied to her e-mail? She's paying off dividends already!

Shmatterhorn 38

Saturday 2 March 2013 5:59

OP, it might help if you ask the Flying Spaghetti Monster for help instead of Cthulhu. At least the FSM can use his Noodly Appendage to distract the dude while you can escape.

noelasis94 18

Saturday 2 March 2013 6:05

Roids are bAd ummkay children

VampTat 10

Saturday 2 March 2013 6:10

Just because a guy is big and looks like he can kick your ass doesn't mean that he will... For all you know, he could be a real nice guy and it will suck for you to have to be the one to break the bad news to him. I hope all goes well.

KayleeT 9

Saturday 2 March 2013 6:13

Why did he hire him? If he's the manager, it's his responsibility to fire people anyways. It's unfair dumping this all on you.

lexieB2014 19

Saturday 2 March 2013 7:15

He might not beat you up ,you can't always base people off of their looks

JaneChemi_fml 21

Saturday 2 March 2013 10:52

op said jail was like a bed and breakfast to the guy...

AuraX 7

Saturday 2 March 2013 12:21

Yeah I would definitely be taking that into consideration!

beej821410 6

Sunday 3 March 2013 7:20

But he could very well have been in jail for a non violent offense. I don't think it's cool that OP has made an assumption about the guy because he works out and "likely abuses steroids". OPs assumptions make me want to hit him!