Work: Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a... - FML

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By NoPrivacy - 26/04/2012 10:44 - United States

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 176

You deserved it 34 745

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Same thing different taste

Not now, mate

By yuen - 16/06/2009 14:59 - Australia

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 627

You deserved it 4 743

By not telling you my name - 07/08/2015 15:16 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I went to take a dump at work. The silence in the room was deafening, and I ended up singing to myself. After I proudly finished, there was a short silence, followed by a coworker in the next stall saying, "Um... don't quit the day job, Rick." I'll never live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 642

You deserved it 5 820

By Username - 21/03/2012 17:10 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 415

You deserved it 2 344

By shittysongs - 07/03/2013 02:39 - United States - Bothell

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 922

You deserved it 7 115

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 032

You deserved it 5 408

DELETE! DELETE!

By Mandi - 05/12/2022 16:00

Today, I accidentally called my boss and left a voicemail as I was yelling to my kid, "I NEED TOILET PAPER TO WIPE MY BUTT! WHERE IS ALL THE TOILET PAPER?!" Followed by me yelling something like, "STOP WATCHING ME WIPE MY BUTT!" immediately after my kid walked in with baby wipes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 929

By Madridsta - 28/06/2014 06:28 - United States - Rialto

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 920

You deserved it 7 850

We heard you

By PeePee - 03/07/2009 19:19 - United States

Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 029

You deserved it 13 407

By DonPedro - 16/01/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 871

You deserved it 11 401

By Taylor Page - 19/02/2015 16:24 - United States - Gainesville

Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 624

You deserved it 2 539

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Top comments

Wheredidgrungego 12

Thursday 26 April 2012 15:14

"You need a new job, you need a new job."

twifan1901 0

Thursday 26 April 2012 15:13

Why would you do that?

Comments

payton1769 0

Thursday 26 April 2012 16:55

I need to*

BobbieH 19

Thursday 26 April 2012 17:05

Why would you think that's appropriate for the workplace? YDI, next time keep the song in your head; you don't need to share!

midnight21 8

Thursday 26 April 2012 17:06

Well maybe you shouldn't be such a dumbass.

calivianya 29

Thursday 26 April 2012 17:37

Whether that was a FML or not really depends on your work environment. I've had jobs where if you didn't use profanity every five minutes, people looked at you like you were crazy.

whattheforkdude 0

Thursday 26 April 2012 17:37

Did he start singing with you?

gloria89108 1

Thursday 26 April 2012 17:50

Girls don't do that !!!!

NinjaPickles 4

Thursday 26 April 2012 17:52

Don't worry I think your boss has a new tune for his walk to the bathroom :). Mind if I use it.? :D

justfienne 12

Thursday 26 April 2012 18:18

Was it to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody? GALILEO! Galileo!

russfml 31

Thursday 26 April 2012 18:24

Hi ho hi ho off to shit I go lmfao. YDI but great story buddy! If you work in a warehouse/ male oriented job you'll be fine

failureusername 12

Thursday 26 April 2012 18:33

Ah the joys of sh**ting...Sitting down, relaxing, and taking out your phone to enjoy some FML's :) Hope you were singing in a happy tune OP, your boss could've been jealous that it was you and not him.

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