Work: Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a... - FML

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By NoPrivacy - 26/04/2012 10:44 - United States

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 176

You deserved it 34 745

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Same thing different taste

Not now, mate

By yuen - 16/06/2009 14:59 - Australia

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 627

You deserved it 4 743

By not telling you my name - 07/08/2015 15:16 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I went to take a dump at work. The silence in the room was deafening, and I ended up singing to myself. After I proudly finished, there was a short silence, followed by a coworker in the next stall saying, "Um... don't quit the day job, Rick." I'll never live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 642

You deserved it 5 820

By Username - 21/03/2012 17:10 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 415

You deserved it 2 344

By shittysongs - 07/03/2013 02:39 - United States - Bothell

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 922

You deserved it 7 115

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 032

You deserved it 5 408

DELETE! DELETE!

By Mandi - 05/12/2022 16:00

Today, I accidentally called my boss and left a voicemail as I was yelling to my kid, "I NEED TOILET PAPER TO WIPE MY BUTT! WHERE IS ALL THE TOILET PAPER?!" Followed by me yelling something like, "STOP WATCHING ME WIPE MY BUTT!" immediately after my kid walked in with baby wipes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 929

By Madridsta - 28/06/2014 06:28 - United States - Rialto

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 920

You deserved it 7 850

We heard you

By PeePee - 03/07/2009 19:19 - United States

Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 029

You deserved it 13 407

By DonPedro - 16/01/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 871

You deserved it 11 401

By Taylor Page - 19/02/2015 16:24 - United States - Gainesville

Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 624

You deserved it 2 539

Next

Top comments

Wheredidgrungego 12

Thursday 26 April 2012 15:14

"You need a new job, you need a new job."

twifan1901 0

Thursday 26 April 2012 15:13

Why would you do that?

Comments

OfficeNinja 5

Thursday 26 April 2012 18:44

So? Everybody knows that "I need a shit" is the latest number one smash hit.

kalbrek009 20

Thursday 26 April 2012 18:44

WTH? Seriously...you need a life, you need a life! What kind of other moronic things do you do/say in public?

Nevaal 3

Thursday 26 April 2012 18:59

So now there is a poopoo song to go along with the peepee dance

hereinnc 12

Thursday 26 April 2012 19:23

This makes me happy I work at home...I can sing and poop in private!

ryanbeast 7

Thursday 26 April 2012 19:42

I like the name you posted with. Not having privacy would be solved pretty easily by not announcing that you will take a crap.

ISLAPPEDMAHBRO 3

Thursday 26 April 2012 19:53

Describe your last shit with a movie title.

philzilla 1

Thursday 26 April 2012 20:09

Got to go you got to go

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 26 April 2012 20:23

Your climbing up a ladder and you hear something splatter... or your sliding into first (base) and feel something burst...

senor_awesome 14

Thursday 26 April 2012 20:25

If you need a bit of shit, I believe horselover7766 might be able to help in that department. Just make sure its not the brother. The brother is an asshole.

wlddog 14

Thursday 26 April 2012 20:28

I soooo want to recreate the bathroom farting contest from family guy. Have tryed a few times, but no one will compete with me.

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