Work: Today, my boss sat me down to discuss the sounds my co-workers...

By ImScrewed - 02/08/2011 17:47 - United States

Today, my boss sat me down to discuss the sounds my co-workers have heard coming from my cubicle. Apparently my music sounds like the background tracks from shitty soft-core porn movies. I'm getting a three day suspension while they go through all my files. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 225

You deserved it 5 278

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Same thing different taste

By HellaBomber91 - 20/11/2009 13:56 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boss listens to the things we say about him on the audio-enabled cameras at our work. I'm thus currently jobless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 086

You deserved it 40 687

Too much of a good thing

By Anonymous - 29/03/2020 03:00

Today, I finally found a job as a secretary for a small film studio. The sets are in a soundproofed part of the building, but not for the typical reasons. Right through the wall is a pornography studio. It's all I'll hear from 8 to 5 every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 543

You deserved it 265

Compression wars

By Guido - 09/03/2022 18:00

Today, I was written up and banned from playing my songs at the office. Turns out that my other workmates snitched on me because I was playing '90s rock and pop, which was stressing them out somehow. Of course, the burnout I had from listening to three straight hours of tacky Reggaeton music didn't matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 188

By bipbip - 12/11/2008 07:53 - France

Today, at work, I received an email telling me that viewing porn websites was prohibited and was a good enough reason to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 344

You deserved it 68 791

By Anonymous - 26/01/2013 01:04 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my boss put me on suspension for violating company policy by having non-work related mail in my inbox. They were spam emails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 050

You deserved it 2 268

By Anonymous - 18/10/2012 06:33 - Canada - Toronto

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 723

You deserved it 2 480

By hangman - 01/08/2013 18:25 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 749

You deserved it 4 532

He's the boss

By Anonymous - 01/03/2023 00:00

Today, I lost my earbuds on the subway to work, so I had to listen to my boss's terrible music all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 219

By Anonymous - 02/10/2011 20:35 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 920

You deserved it 14 874

Mind your own business

By New CV and Tinder needed - 23/05/2023 12:00

Today, I got a harsh warning from my boss. I apologized because I was genuinely in the wrong. My girlfriend found out about it and sent my boss a message, threatening to kick her ass. I'm now suspended. Thanks babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 163

shutup_matt 5

Wednesday 3 August 2011 0:06

What kind of crappy music do you listen to?

deafeningsilence 8

Wednesday 3 August 2011 0:06

Well, if they can't find anything, then you're in the clear.

Comments

KLuff 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 0:57

Baby, baby, baby, ohhhhhh!

RandomChickXD 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 0:57

psst I LOVE your profile pic

kbt13 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 2:54

Funny funny funny

AnneFTW 17

Wednesday 3 August 2011 1:00

YDI for listening to music at work, especially music that sounds like it's from ****.

uclaisdabest 3

Wednesday 3 August 2011 1:16

Obviously u listen to shitty music, therefore u deserve it.

sparxva 12

Wednesday 3 August 2011 1:18

Assuming you have not been watching ****, file a protest and demand pay for the three days. Then it is a paid vacation, enjoy.

MareNostrum 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 1:19

MareNostrum 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 1:21

You would think that the moaning would overpower the music if he was watching ****...

Notorious_Puppy 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 1:33

Let them search your files. Show em whose boss

macsterfun 3

Wednesday 3 August 2011 1:35

So all this time I was wrong?!? Darn, I was thinking about joining in...

redsfan 4

Wednesday 3 August 2011 1:36

Just admit that your watching **** on the job; they'll understand.

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I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 22

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 391

You deserved it 115 804

The Top

Today, I got into a staring contest with my dog. I actually cheered when I won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 426

You deserved it 12 450

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 829

You deserved it 5 914

Today, just a few minutes after I got to work, my usually laconic boss came into my office and said, "Pack your stuff and get the f*ck out." Apparently, half my department was being downsized. Thinking it was an April Fool's, I burst out laughing and told him how funny the prank was. He wasn't kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 868

You deserved it 4 598

Today, I realized it is now considered normal and routine that my boyfriend wets the bed after a night of drinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 952

You deserved it 4 905

Today, I had to pick my parents up from the hospital and drive them back home, after they were treated for eating large amounts of cheese that my dad claimed to have "aged" for several years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 489

You deserved it 1 626

Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 420

You deserved it 5 754