Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin...

By firsttimer69 - 20/03/2009 06:11 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 728

You deserved it 15 193

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Same thing different taste

Giggle loop

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 350

You deserved it 38 334

Heartless swine

By Anonymous - 15/09/2015 05:56 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 027

You deserved it 4 392

You've tried this before, right?

By xxxzzzooo - 02/01/2010 17:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 563

You deserved it 3 808

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he finished before me. I thought that he was going to try and get hard again so we could continue. Unfortunately, he turned to me and said to me, "Don't worry, I'll re-spawn in a few minutes." I lost it completely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 997

You deserved it 516

By JoshuasGirl - 23/12/2013 19:13 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 105

You deserved it 6 455

It's just a flesh wound!

By manhandled - 01/02/2012 18:05 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 171

You deserved it 4 027

Do that again

By lotrgeek - 13/02/2012 13:37 - Canada

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 647

You deserved it 7 141

Nuts

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 20:03 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 888

You deserved it 6 153

By Anonymous - 10/03/2012 07:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 071

You deserved it 59 353

So hott

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 777

You deserved it 15 183

jam26 0

Friday 20 March 2009 16:03

are you sure he wasn't a virgin? I know most guys finish in like 2 seconds their first time. maybe he lied to you and he was a virgin too

amirn86 0

Friday 20 March 2009 16:10

Hey, at least you know you turn him on A LOT This really never happens you can take my word I want to apologize that's just absurd Mainly you're at fault for the way that you dance and now I **** IN MY PANTS Don't tell your friends or I'll say you're a **** Plus it's your fault, you were rubbing my butt I'm very sensitive, some would say that's a plus Now I'll go home and change I **** right in my pants every time you're next to me And when we're holding hands it's like having sex to me You say I'm premature, I just call it ecstasy I wear a rubber at all times cause it's a necessity Cause I **** in my pants

Comments

UniquelyMe 0

Tuesday 14 April 2009 5:22

wow, that's....interesting. 30 sec?! wowsers

dan81892 2

Friday 17 April 2009 20:04

more of a FML for him, am i right?

Thewafflefry36 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 1:39

Number 9 wtf? i know its a song but still.... and dont worry he mightve been excited before u even started so it was shorter when you did this.

SilenceOfTheLamb 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 12:20

not good for your first time.

xxBAMFxx 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 3:17

Wow... You must be really good or his partners were horrible ;)

ohitsali 0

Friday 15 May 2009 19:44

at least it's a good story to tell. i'm sure he'll have more endurance in the future - he was probably just a little nervous or something. he probably wanted to make it special for you. be thankful you lost it with someone you care about, instead of a complete tool. short sex with a boyfriend > a quick romp with a douche bag.

Jantastic 0

Sunday 17 May 2009 1:48

To give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he had never been with a virgin before and was so turned on by the fact that he was going to be your first that he just couldn't control it. However, some guys are just fast shooters like that. Some can't help it, and some don't care as long as they get their rocks off. But, all these guys that brag about going for hours are full of it.

punkelf 0

Sunday 17 May 2009 22:44

you shouldn't be making this he should and it should look like this. [: Today, my girlfriend finally decided to lose her virginity to me, after a long sexual journey i was exhausted and collapsed on top or her. she started to laugh. I couldn't satisfy my virgin girlfriend. FML

KevinB_fml 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 21:53

you shouldve done it again 20 minutes later, might've lasted longer. The first shot is sometimes quick. Or he can do more before hand (fingering, going down) if he cant last. #13 you're a bitch for dumping a guy because of that. Especially a serious boyfriend.

protooler31 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 18:21

shouldn't have ****** him so hard. ;) j/k. he's either a virgin as well and embarrassed to say anything, or he's been out of practice. just like athletes that train every day, us guys can lose some (sometimes ALL) of that built up stamina if we haven't been laid in some time...masturbating does not count as practice.