Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship...

By petpeeeve - 11/03/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 898

You deserved it 10 285

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Same thing different taste

By disapointed girl - 28/12/2009 16:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 008

You deserved it 5 892

Congrats

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 22:44 - Canada - Rosetown

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 822

You deserved it 8 593

By Kylee Day - 27/08/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for a second time. When I was getting dressed afterwards with him sitting next to me, there was a silence. To break it, he grabbed my hand and fistbumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 410

First time?

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 11:56 - United States - Westminster

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 286

You deserved it 6 901

Instructions

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 568

You deserved it 16 444

By trina - 22/03/2009 09:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I started stroking the back of his neck with both of my hands. He told me, "Your hands are nice and smooth like my grandmother's." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 407

You deserved it 7 977

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 767

You deserved it 4 417

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 818

You deserved it 5 301

Quickie

By Anonymous - 20/06/2023 15:00

Today, I walked to my boyfriend's house, which takes literally 2 minutes since we are also neighbours. He wanted sex straight away. The walk took longer than the sex, by over a full minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031

You deserved it 207

By JoshuasGirl - 23/12/2013 19:13 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 098

You deserved it 6 453

jSOPURE 3

Wednesday 11 March 2009 9:31

You had bad breath? ;)

render 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 9:36

Wow lmao, that must feel terrible. (Hey, I remember I checked "Yes" to this FML while moderating!)

Comments

TheMalarky 0

Monday 4 July 2011 18:20

he what telling the sex was not that good you can do better lol

Rdc13 7

Wednesday 14 September 2011 6:04

Hey, two pats are better than one =)

turbonated 0

Monday 19 September 2011 3:21

op also watched the show "Ten Things I Hate About You" This is absoluyely fake..

bubblesxtwo 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 1:37

Sounds like # 9 can't get laid haha

alaskanraccoon 12

Friday 12 October 2012 21:05

Your a dumbass

Potatobacon 6

Monday 22 April 2013 4:53

I think I know his position... He should have been smarter but I assume he felt like shit after

judea95 16

Thursday 29 August 2013 12:05

Fair enough

cactusdesu 15

Saturday 16 November 2013 21:07

How does your life suck? You had sex!

Mrman1998 7

Monday 1 September 2014 15:35

he was like "good job sport" *pat pat*

beaks527 16

Saturday 18 July 2015 9:30

"Great job sport"

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I had a friend over. We found my older brother's camera so decided to look through his photos but then we came across photos of him and his girlfriend having sex. We were laughing up until my friend decided to point out that they were having sex on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 849

You deserved it 7 486

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 486

You deserved it 11 508

The Top

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for the fifth time, and all I could say was, "Can I have my parking permit back?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 388

You deserved it 31 881

Today, I played back the images of the tiny camera I attached to the collar of my cat to figure out where she goes when she disappears for several days at a time. I found my husband with another woman in our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 603

You deserved it 389

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 553

You deserved it 3 864

Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her usual moaning, "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at this egg, it makes me want to throw up… It's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 301

You deserved it 4 016

Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 793

You deserved it 3 781

Today, I was informed that one of my store managers does a "great" impression of me. No one will tell me what it is, but apparently it's really funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 537

You deserved it 2 582