Love: Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don't understand... - FML

By Anonymous - 15/02/2012 05:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don't understand the bond between him and his stuffed goose. He's 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 796

You deserved it 5 882

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/04/2013 13:32 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 685

You deserved it 6 105

By PunkChik27 - 12/12/2011 04:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, saying we're too different. His only example? He likes ham and I don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 131

You deserved it 4 469

Is this dude a puma?

By Anonymous - 04/04/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? Because I became a vegetarian. Apparently, he doesn't believe in "not eating meat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 444

You deserved it 1 526

The GOAT

By stunned - 15/03/2010 15:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 906

You deserved it 3 964

By Anonymous - 15/02/2012 19:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 882

You deserved it 2 801

By Anonymous - 05/08/2015 06:13 - United States - Brookfield

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wasn't feeling our two-month relationship was up to par with his parents' 30-year marriage, and, furthermore, I wasn't similar enough to his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 217

You deserved it 2 158

Gamers rise up

By Games - 20/07/2021 01:59

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said it was because his online gaming friends don't like it when I ask him to spend time with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 217

You deserved it 161

By rotezora - 02/09/2012 12:44 - Switzerland - Basel

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 556

You deserved it 3 602

By cclllc - 14/08/2012 09:06 - United States - Weatherford

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 042

You deserved it 2 096

Grow up

By phreshrice - 07/04/2009 21:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because apparently I need to "grow up". He's the one who excessively plays Call of Duty and still has Pokémon and Bionicles in his room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 977

You deserved it 22 567

Next

Top comments

capt_awesome1 11

Wednesday 15 February 2012 11:51

that's a reason to dump someone ?

darwinism 30

Wednesday 15 February 2012 11:55

Sometimes I am sad that evolution seems to skip some people. On the bright side OP, you can now strenghten the bond between you and your vibrator.

Comments

Jasonf6 0

Wednesday 15 February 2012 22:54

Hey, don't *** with a man and his goose. :)

SmittyJA24 26

Wednesday 15 February 2012 23:11

You are better off without him. Be thankful he broke things off ... & saved you the trouble.

BlackCloudedSldr 5

Wednesday 15 February 2012 23:33

Why am I picturing an actual stuffed goose from a taxidermist.

jhicks123 10

Thursday 16 February 2012 2:05

Dude, guys care abouth that shit

chosha_fml 26

Thursday 16 February 2012 2:12

And, good riddance.

SoultheWolf 19

Thursday 16 February 2012 3:22

Some people have stuffed animals that are very important to them. I'm almsot 21 and I have several stuffed animals that I would never give away, because they are important too me. Try and find a mid point. Like if he wants to sleep with it instead have it sleep next to the bed. Don't dump him for liking stuffed animals. I'm sure you have things you like that he doesn't but lives with it.

oneleggedbeauty 0

Thursday 16 February 2012 3:32

Psh maybe it means a lot to him. I know when I decide to start dating, my boyfriend is gunna have to deal with my domo child (: cause I love her to death. Its a bond you sadly don't know

Glassmaster 0

Thursday 16 February 2012 4:04

Well, you dodged a bullet there.

fiblydinkerton 0

Thursday 16 February 2012 4:13

What's its name.

blair_x 12

Thursday 16 February 2012 4:17

Never get in the way of a man and his stuffed goose.

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Keywords

Food Toxic Family Miscellaneous Gross Love Health Valentine's Day Homeowners Home improvement Kids Awkward Drugs Babysitter Music Lonely Crush Wanker Intimacy Relatable Animals Cats Work Coworkers Transportation Airplanes Embarrassing Sleep Mental health Cute

The Top

Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened, I slipped and fell in the shower, and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered, "Well, she's masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 173

You deserved it 3 344

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 66

The Top

Today, our boss gave me and my team a final warning, because of a prank that one of my workmates played on him. It isn't the first time shit happens. The boss won't let us dispute it, either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 221

Today, my mother is such a nosy, intruding busybody, she has driven away my last three boyfriends who could no longer stand her. My latest fella had even proposed, but he asked for the ring back and you can bet he blamed my mother for repeatedly involving herself in our private business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 278

You deserved it 482

Today, my fiancée got married. I did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 804

You deserved it 3 446

Today, I passed a cashier when I came into a store. Later I passed him again as I was leaving, and he asked me if I needed help finding something because I had been in the store for a while. I told him I had been browsing upstairs, but in reality, I had been in the restroom the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 613

You deserved it 1 526

Today, I had to perform with my orchestra at an event. I hadn't eaten at all because I had to get my blood sugar tested. During the middle of a song, I passed out. No one helped me and no one stopped playing, "because the song wasn't over and they didn't want to ruin the performance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 721

You deserved it 6 275

Today, when I tried to break up with my girlfriend of 2 years, she had no idea we were even dating. She thought of all the movies, dinners, and "sleepovers" I had with her was because we were such great friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 503

You deserved it 4 309