By bobin - 29/08/2011 17:17 - United States

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 290
You deserved it 6 318
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Top comments

arcticdoctorwho 0

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

206 5

Comments

kkisdivorced 0

With mother-in-laws resistance is futile. They get away with everything!

2 26
Ferretface 13

You're off by one.

13 1
champjb 0

how do you attempt to have sex with a flax penis?

14 3
Darklord53 0

I see nothing wrong with this.

21 3
CryMoreFMLs 14

You age says 20, yet your profile says you're 14? Stop making me guess which one you are!!

15 0
DamnSmooth 0

You may wanna take a closer look at the relationship you guys have. There is a good chance he pretends to be 'tired' or 'asleep' when around you. (If he suddenly woke up at the sight of food, he probably wasn't in a deep sleep to begin with. FYL indeed.)

4 14
caboose003 0

Or he worked all day and was exhausted, we instinctively wake up to the smell of good food. Think of your favorite meal, now imagine you were as tired as you've ever been in your life, don't tell me you wouldn't half hazerdly stumble out of bed towards it!

17 0
cookie_3008 4

ok. OP's friend. "mah bad".

2 0
DamnSmooth 0

As a friend once noted about me, "You eat to survive, not because you enjoy it.". Anyway, your right. I'm sure he was practically comatose & the simple smell of food woke him up. The idea of him pretending to be asleep in order to avoid putting in the effort of being intimate with someone he is really not that into (but stays with because he is terrified of being single) is absurd. (sigh ... the excuses we come up with to make ourselves believe everything is a-ok. )

1 3
DamnSmooth 0

I'm curious ... does incorrect grammar & spelling REALLY bother you so much that you can't help but correct it, or are you just pathetically following those wacky internet fads ? ... If so, there is a new one that involves buying a bag of 'Swedish Fish' & suffocating yourself with it after ingesting it's contents. You should try it.

3 5
a_nutritionist 10

you dont think its a bit of a leap to go from "he kept falling asleep, EVEN when i tried to have sex with him this one time" to "he knew you were going to want sex so he pre-emptively kept pretending to fall asleep, because deep down he doesnt want to be with you and isnt sexually attracted to you, thats why i assume he does this all the time"? the guy is tired, sex takes energy, sometimes you just cant be ******. in comparison, eating takes very little energy, and the guy might actually be hungry.

2 1
WCARlover 34

You suck in bed. Sorry to break it to you

17 7
GreatBlueApe 6

No, the problem is she doesn't suck, or if she does, she isn't very good at it.

12 4
aaronfuegopop 7

ahahahahhaa I can't blame him. It's not tiring eating food. But it IS tiring to make love :/

14 2
bubo_fml 10

My girlfriend farts during sex...Unfortunately, I don't know Morse code...

26 4
arcticdoctorwho 0

Haha! Nice combination of FMLs.

8 0
FarSide 22

She's probably just queefing because of your little dick.

2 0
mikeypairguy 1

Grab his nuts and squeeze really hard! You will have his full attention, especially if you have long nails!!

6 27
treeboi 0

Do not whatever you do, listen to this advice.

7 1
a_nutritionist 10

this has to be a woman trolling as a guy...theres no way any male is that oblivious to his own anatomy. yes, squeeze his balls, lets see how long your relationship lasts then. assuming it does, you might want to seek a **** buddy on the side cos he isnt gonna go anywhere near you.

6 0
dmw25 0

Your a weirdo. Just quit plz, you dont know how to have sex. Pathetic just stop.

2 0
itzProPain 10

food is clearly more important than love to men

6 4