Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch,...

By fuckadaisical - 06/12/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 435

You deserved it 8 901

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Same thing different taste

Kinky

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 182

You deserved it 12 019

Dirty talk

By Username - 24/02/2010 15:06

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 781

You deserved it 4 766

By fmysexlife - 27/07/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 633

You deserved it 15 439

Sensual world

By Anonymous - 16/10/2015 15:05 - United Kingdom - Eastleigh

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 239

You deserved it 3 011

Hangry sex

By Krissy - 06/04/2012 02:11 - United States

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 183

You deserved it 4 856

Break time

By Samantha K - 19/10/2020 20:08

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he stopped and got dressed. Naked and confused, I figured he’d be right back. Yeah, 20 minutes later with a plate of food for himself. So much for sex. It would've been nice if he told me though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 606

You deserved it 207

How could you?

By datingmrpicky - 22/08/2011 03:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 504

You deserved it 36 979

By sissydlk - 02/12/2010 15:54 - United States

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 279

You deserved it 10 376

By Patricia - 01/10/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 567

You deserved it 5 721

By notsohot - 25/08/2019 00:01

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 329

You deserved it 2 300

niatross 16

Saturday 7 December 2013 1:54

Well did you like it

Nyx_fml 23

Saturday 7 December 2013 1:56

It's sweet that he cares about keeping you well-fed.

Comments

jl_word 10

Saturday 7 December 2013 23:03

The man is genius.

fastfood101 1

Sunday 8 December 2013 1:57

and why is this a fml?? you've got a sexy bf right there!

Black_Ink 20

Sunday 8 December 2013 4:15

Okay, that's actually pretty funny.

DASboot1983 6

Sunday 8 December 2013 4:48

well were you mad with your finger food or did you make a sloppy mess with that sandwich

honeybeeki 14

Sunday 8 December 2013 6:13

Lol that's awesome. That's a good bf

BrotherPhil 35

Sunday 8 December 2013 7:31

Slap on some pepper sauce and take a big bite!

Koala99 1

Sunday 8 December 2013 12:16

Did you tell him, you would like a little bit more meat to make it a good sandwich.

ohSNAPyall 26

Sunday 8 December 2013 21:22

Aw, nuts.

jonathan_kraft 14

Sunday 8 December 2013 22:02

Im sorry that is hilarious

RoP_fml 4

Monday 9 December 2013 10:58

I would have fetched two rounds of bread, and them bitten down hard!

Keywords

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You deserved it 176

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