Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like...

By Snufflopagus - 01/01/2014 13:26 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 470

You deserved it 10 587

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Noname - 16/01/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 626

You deserved it 6 660

By omgboobs - 23/12/2009 02:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that when my nipples are hard, he thinks that they look like giant zits, and when he squeezes them, he imagines them popping pus. He then reached for my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 925

You deserved it 2 770

Finger lickin'

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Brecksville

Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 591

You deserved it 43 864

By Anonymous - 24/08/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 408

You deserved it 7 160

To each his own

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 14:00

Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 231

By isoheartcaitlin - 25/08/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 370

You deserved it 6 162

By weezer - 21/02/2011 13:07 - United States

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That's how he found out that I wax my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 240

You deserved it 30 446

By hannah12345 - 26/02/2010 17:54 - France

Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 812

You deserved it 31 849

By hdgyfjdzdfg - 16/04/2012 06:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 071

You deserved it 4 909

By sore - 04/01/2010 11:30 - France

Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 770

You deserved it 3 875

thatnucca 36

Wednesday 1 January 2014 19:15

Sometimes we really are what we eat... Might wanna check your diet then OP...

how_about_no_ 19

Wednesday 1 January 2014 19:16

Well, does he like onions...? It could be a compliment

Comments

sydstoomuch 19

Sunday 21 September 2014 17:20

Rofl!!

2fst4ufrl 8

Thursday 12 November 2015 23:42

Do we get to see these nipple that taste like onions apparently?

johnjkl 22

Monday 28 December 2015 7:03

Are you a ogre

OzzyTheGiant 14

Tuesday 29 March 2016 17:22

maybe you just have "layers" like Shrek!

Keywords

Awkward Health Embarrassing Food Work Gross Love Friends Solitude AITA Relationship advice Kids Relatable Thief Miscellaneous Roommate Dogs Animals Cute YouTube Cars Parents Painful Ironic Management Transportation First Dates Poopoo peepee Family Intimacy

The Top

Today, I accidentally shared the pictures about my date with my side chick on my main stories instead of my “Close friends” list, where I'd excluded my girlfriend. I realized this when all my stuff was sitting outside our apartment when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 1 865

Today, I realised my wife has been slowly phasing out most elements of our previously active and inventive sex life. These days, it's missionary once a month or she tells me to whack one off by myself in the bathroom. When did we get so boring? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 102

You deserved it 320

The Top

Today, I turned 22, without anyone wishing me a happy birthday. In fact, the only phone call I received all day was from my brother. He wanted to borrow money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135 143

You deserved it 7 465

Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 561

You deserved it 5 783

Today, I thought I was home alone so I went to take a shower and left my door open. My dog came in, stole my bra, and ran out of my bathroom. I jumped out and followed him, only to find out that my brother had two of his friends over. They all saw me naked, and my dog had my bra in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 657

You deserved it 12 412

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 698

You deserved it 4 262

Today, I took my sister to the airport, after she asked me to a week ago. Five minutes into the ride, she told me she wasn’t going to the one 20 minutes away, but the one an hour away instead and gave me no gas money. FM

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 169

Today, my boyfriend, who went to college, is unable to write a two-line email without saying the text out loud at least five times in a row. He also keeps repeating newspaper lines and simple things I say, in a whisper, in order to understand them. I'm afraid he might be developing dementia. At 40 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 790

You deserved it 293

Same thing different taste

Finger lickin'

To each his own

Top comments

Comments