Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend told me that when my nipples are hard, he...

By omgboobs - 23/12/2009 02:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that when my nipples are hard, he thinks that they look like giant zits, and when he squeezes them, he imagines them popping pus. He then reached for my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 925

You deserved it 2 770

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

Noob to boobs

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 10:16 - United States

Today, I was feeling up my girlfriend's chest. I was getting into it until she said, "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "That's not my nipple, its a pimple." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 218

You deserved it 43 810

By Snufflopagus - 01/01/2014 13:26 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 470

You deserved it 10 587

By >{%£•¥ - 27/11/2010 07:08 - United States

Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 063

You deserved it 4 153

By Anonymous - 18/02/2014 19:49 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Kingshill

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 296

You deserved it 19 276

By KAAALIS - 16/03/2009 02:20 - United States

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738 285

You deserved it 495 488

Great expectations

By Anonymous - 23/10/2020 08:08 - United Kingdom - London

Today, after making love to my boyfriend, I went upstairs to shower. After turning it on, I found a huge pimple on my leg and the prospect of popping it excited me more than my boyfriend ever had in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 131

You deserved it 387

By Anonymous - 24/08/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 408

You deserved it 7 160

By sore - 04/01/2010 11:30 - France

Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 770

You deserved it 3 875

By Anonymous - 17/11/2011 14:06 - United States

Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 695

You deserved it 6 084

By annababyyyy - 10/11/2014 05:01 - United States - Rockville

Today, my boyfriend pretended to be reading braille while touching my chest acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 648

You deserved it 7 475

barkerja 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 9:48

Wtf...

musicislife1995_fml 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 9:05

whatever floats his boat... even if it is puss filled mountains of yuckiness.

Comments

swaneh 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 16:28

At least you know what turns him on. ;)

perdix 29

Wednesday 23 December 2009 16:33

EPIC literary FAIL! Such a poor choice of words and disturbing imagery should land a guy in the Friend Zone with a Bulwer-Lytton prize (those are award for exceptionally bad writing -- I hope they take spoken-word entries.)