Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our...

By Anonymous - 29/06/2011 23:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 984

You deserved it 7 376

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Trapped

By Anonymous - 12/03/2022 05:00 - United States - Mineola

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. Instead of being happy, he freaked out, then told me I was trying to "trap" him. We've been together for 12 years, and trying for 3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 235

You deserved it 188

By Anonymous - 28/08/2012 23:08 - United States - Merrillville

Today, I announced to my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He immediately denied that it was his because "a childhood accident" supposedly left him sterile. He has a child from a previous relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 889

You deserved it 5 871

By Anonymous - 31/05/2013 03:28 - United States - Carencro

Today, my boyfriend "finally figured out" that he couldn't possibly be the father of my child, and publicly broke up with me. When I reminded him that I was already pregnant when we first met, he "extra" broke up with me for making him look stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 318

You deserved it 7 422

By Username - 15/09/2010 18:02 - France

Today, after telling me his other girlfriend is pregnant, my boyfriend said we should stay together so I could help out with the baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 052

You deserved it 4 829

By =( - 05/04/2014 17:48 - United States - Houston

Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 747

You deserved it 14 430

By Anonymous - 05/04/2019 18:00

Today, I realised how little my husband trusts me after I told him I was pregnant and the first words out of his mouth were, “Is it mine?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 515

You deserved it 430

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By Willow McGarrigle - 30/05/2020 02:00

Today, my ex messaged me, saying he got his new girlfriend pregnant and that he thinks I have something to do with it. He thinks I put it in her head that they should have a kid together, when he says he didn't want any in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 632

You deserved it 146

By Jessie - 22/08/2019 12:01 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I'm pregnant. He suggested we get a paternity test done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 887

You deserved it 332

By bummed - 04/11/2010 03:16 - United States

Today, I found out a 6-month pregnant woman is claiming my boyfriend to be the father. Even though this would have been previous to our relationship, he already has two kids from getting girls pregnant in high school. I guess he didn't learn his lesson the first two times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 195

You deserved it 16 638

By Toooldforthisshit - 09/12/2018 11:30 - United States - New London

Today, I found out the girl my boyfriend was seeing just before me is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 077

You deserved it 261

konnermoses 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 8:28

he's not too smart :-/

aliadnan708 6

Thursday 30 June 2011 8:28

wow ur bf is truly an idiot!

Comments

JobaNobaa 1

Thursday 30 June 2011 12:45

i hope you cheated on him and te real father has a brain

slinkydee 2

Thursday 30 June 2011 12:47

im sorry that it took you until you got pregnant to find out your boyfriend is a dumbass AND a cheater. FYL I hope your child doesnt inherit its father's brain.

7sevensevenseven 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 12:49

does he kno anything?????

Bikrbum 6

Thursday 30 June 2011 12:54

He's a keeper!

Huhuu 7

Thursday 30 June 2011 12:55

No way he's THAT stupid !! how did you date him ! x] Hahahahaha !

Nyzjahrenee 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 13:03

He sounds ******* retarded.

rat3dxx 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 13:07

lmao nice

danielabella94 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 13:09

let's hope it's not his. he doesn't seem to bright

klong91 7

Thursday 30 June 2011 13:25

Wow what a moron I hope you dump his stupid ass.

xoxo_Zoe_xoxo 5

Thursday 30 June 2011 13:28

He's a special type of stupid...

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The Top

Today, I came home early from work. My boyfriend and I live together. I open the door and I found my best friend watching TV on the couch, wearing lingerie. The room smelled like sex. She acted irrational and defensive, and had the audacity to ask what I was doing here. Bitch, I live here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 837

You deserved it 143

Today, I had a movie date planned with a guy. After a polite exchange, we were interrupted by a phone call from his colleague saying they had an emergency that needed his attention. He excused himself to take the call, telling me he wouldn't be long. He drove off and blocked my number the moment he stepped out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 194

You deserved it 142

The Top

Today, I auditioned for a part and made it because the director thought I would be "perfect" for the part and I was "just like the character in every way." The part is for a schizophrenic drug addict who everyone hates and is stabbed to death in the second scene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 292

You deserved it 4 466

Today, at work, an old lady dropped her lipstick into the ladies' room toilet, which is out of order and won't flush. I had to reach in and pull it out amid human waste. She thanked me, then uncapped it, and put some on her lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 84

Today, I was on the bus and a woman got on with her 3 young children. I offered her my seat so they could all sit together. When I went to get off the bus, I realized I'd left my bag underneath my old seat. When I tried to get it back the woman hit me and yelled at me for trying to steal her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 779

You deserved it 2 963

Today, my university's dorms closed due to COVID-19 and when I asked my parents if I could stay with them, they said no because, "we're social distancing." They weren't joking, I have nobody else to stay with. I'm now legitimately living in a tent under a bridge until this pandemic ends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 689

You deserved it 166

Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 894

You deserved it 1 238

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 498

You deserved it 183 680

Same thing different taste

Trapped

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