Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our...

By Anonymous - 29/06/2011 23:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 984

You deserved it 7 376

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Trapped

By Anonymous - 12/03/2022 05:00 - United States - Mineola

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. Instead of being happy, he freaked out, then told me I was trying to "trap" him. We've been together for 12 years, and trying for 3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 235

You deserved it 188

By Anonymous - 28/08/2012 23:08 - United States - Merrillville

Today, I announced to my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He immediately denied that it was his because "a childhood accident" supposedly left him sterile. He has a child from a previous relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 889

You deserved it 5 871

By Anonymous - 31/05/2013 03:28 - United States - Carencro

Today, my boyfriend "finally figured out" that he couldn't possibly be the father of my child, and publicly broke up with me. When I reminded him that I was already pregnant when we first met, he "extra" broke up with me for making him look stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 318

You deserved it 7 422

By Username - 15/09/2010 18:02 - France

Today, after telling me his other girlfriend is pregnant, my boyfriend said we should stay together so I could help out with the baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 052

You deserved it 4 829

By =( - 05/04/2014 17:48 - United States - Houston

Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 747

You deserved it 14 430

By Anonymous - 05/04/2019 18:00

Today, I realised how little my husband trusts me after I told him I was pregnant and the first words out of his mouth were, “Is it mine?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 515

You deserved it 430

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By Willow McGarrigle - 30/05/2020 02:00

Today, my ex messaged me, saying he got his new girlfriend pregnant and that he thinks I have something to do with it. He thinks I put it in her head that they should have a kid together, when he says he didn't want any in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 632

You deserved it 146

By Jessie - 22/08/2019 12:01 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I'm pregnant. He suggested we get a paternity test done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 887

You deserved it 332

By bummed - 04/11/2010 03:16 - United States

Today, I found out a 6-month pregnant woman is claiming my boyfriend to be the father. Even though this would have been previous to our relationship, he already has two kids from getting girls pregnant in high school. I guess he didn't learn his lesson the first two times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 195

You deserved it 16 638

By Toooldforthisshit - 09/12/2018 11:30 - United States - New London

Today, I found out the girl my boyfriend was seeing just before me is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 077

You deserved it 261

konnermoses 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 8:28

he's not too smart :-/

aliadnan708 6

Thursday 30 June 2011 8:28

wow ur bf is truly an idiot!

Comments

aaronfuegopop 7

Thursday 30 June 2011 11:30

way to pick em ahahahaha

zeinyzay 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 11:34

awe, sorry :( obviously he's a total loser a) he's not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer b) he's cheating on you honestly dump him. I know I wouldn't want my child to be around someone like him!

IHHC 2

Thursday 30 June 2011 11:35

LOL, triple FYL

kittea86 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 11:35

fyl AND your childs.. heshe could get the dumb genes!

Ns_Visual 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 11:36

oh he clearly has above a 50 IQ

hachooooo 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 11:39

yo I think he's right

jakiwi 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 11:41

how does that even work...?

ImTotallyAsian 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 11:42

Your boyfriend is dumb. Wow...

blackbird007 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 11:43

I hope your kid is smarter than him

Slinkydalatg 6

Thursday 30 June 2011 11:46

Wetawded. Liek a boz.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend and he brushed my hair out of my eyes. Then he smiled and said, "Your eyes are two different colors right now. One's blue, one's green…" I was so happy he still noticed the little things. Then he finished his sentence with, "…ya know, like a dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 992

You deserved it 5 862

Today, I got in an argument with my boss and I dared him to fire me because he has always said he couldn’t run the shop without me. Turns out he was just being nice all this time, my job could in fact be done by his 14 year-old niece with no training in two thirds the time. Yes, he fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 1 783

The Top

Today, my neighbour reported me for touching his wife’s vagina while she was asleep. She wasn’t asleep, she'd passed out giving birth and I had to help get the baby out because the ambulance was late, and her husband was busy vomiting from how slimy and smelly it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 101

Today, I was asked to pick up something from my parents' house, only to be greeted with the horrid surprise that my elderly dad has taken to wearing women's pantyhose and garters. He claims it's for his knees, but that doesn't explain the boner I had to see peeking out of his panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 116

Today, I was so hungry that my mouth started watering during a dog food commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 460

You deserved it 287

Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 791

You deserved it 5 371

Today, I confronted my boyfriend after he received a text with a bunch of hearts on it. After arguing, turns out it was from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 164

You deserved it 42 213

Today, I surprised my 7 and 1.5 year old girls with a princess dinner. I quickly realized it was a scam when the "princesses" arrived looking more suited to a bachelor party. I was able to quickly get the girls out, but have spent the evening explaining why Pocahontas was heavily tattooed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 632

You deserved it 5 080

Same thing different taste

Trapped

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