Health: Today, my boyfriend used a laser pointer to show me where I needed... - FML

By chunkymonkey - 23/11/2011 23:54

Today, my boyfriend used a laser pointer to show me where I needed to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 815

You deserved it 6 282

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Roll with it

By anon - 17/09/2019 22:00

Today, my boyfriend encouragingly told me that he could tell I was losing weight, all because I had one roll fewer than usual on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 507

You deserved it 311

By pooh anne - 26/02/2013 20:26 - United States - Fort Smith

Today, I was trying to be sexy and change in front of my boyfriend. As I was changing, he started to talk to me about how we should both try and lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 078

You deserved it 7 980

Harsh

By anonymous - 14/12/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 499

You deserved it 12 228

I'm getting there!

By At least I'm trying - 26/08/2023 20:00

Today, one of my worst nightmares as an overweight woman came true. My boyfriend showed me a video someone had recorded of us exercising together, and who was mocking my weight the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 140

Subtle

By Anonymous - 13/10/2008 08:28

Today, during the trailers at the movies, my boyfriend elbowed me in the ribs and smiled when an ad for a weight loss institute was shown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 002

You deserved it 17 325

Food fight

By hss - 30/05/2011 01:59 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I had a fight because he wouldn't let me get what I wanted to eat, even though it was my money. He said, "It's way too many calories. I'm supposed to help you lose weight." When I pointed out that I had given up a month ago, he looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can tell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 888

You deserved it 49 755

By June - 05/10/2010 04:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 877

You deserved it 8 830

Manchild

By pixiebubz - 06/10/2011 03:59 - Australia

Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 936

You deserved it 29 426

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 19:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about our new year's resolutions. I started telling him that I wanted to lose some weight. He interrupted me, saying, "Yeah yeah, we all know you're fat, whatever." He then went on a 30 minute speech about how he'd really like to take more pictures of his cat in 2011. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 495

You deserved it 6 286

By Username - 06/10/2010 21:59 - France

Today, I was telling my boyfriend about how self conscious I am and how I obsess about my weight. He said, "Don't be ridiculous, you don't need to lose THAT much weight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 037

You deserved it 28 714

Next

Top comments

sheethapins 13

Thursday 24 November 2011 8:47

Use a laser pointer to show him what you wish would grow on him since he showed you what he wanted on you to shrink.

sinking_fish 12

Thursday 24 November 2011 9:06

13- In your sentence, you should have had quotations around "tht", a comma following, and a period at the end of your sentence. Neither am a "grammar nazi", nor do I care whether you feel like being a douche and correcting someone else just to pretend you are more intelligent, but until next time here is a little tip: make sure YOUR shit is up to par before you make an ass of yourself.

Comments

kei1108 13

Friday 25 November 2011 8:35

That is incredibly abusive. You don't have to take that. Please break up with that insecure man-boy.

jonnyroscoe 3

Friday 25 November 2011 21:17

Did you use a board to show where he needs work?

Kaykay2565 9

Saturday 26 November 2011 0:36

If I guy tells you to lose weight, lose him!

sodapopper 6

Saturday 26 November 2011 0:41

Hi-larious

jaimez 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 2:45

I point in the kitchen with a laser pointer and look at my gf, she gets the hint

brittanybaby2 4

Saturday 26 November 2011 9:47

Use the laser pointer to show him where he'll never be again

cherrygurl101 0

Sunday 27 November 2011 3:59

Just wondering.., where did he point?

Lonelygirlinlove 6

Sunday 27 November 2011 8:29

I would so leave his sorry ass! What jerk!!

marisadc79 0

Sunday 27 November 2011 11:40

Today would be the day I no longer had a boyfriend and he'd have a nice limp going from being junk punched as well

Mr_Matsubayashi 7

Monday 28 November 2011 7:40

You should use a laser pointer to point out some of his shortcomings.

7
8
9
10
11

Keywords

Transportation Cars Embarrassing Relatable Work Mental health Awkward AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Annoying Family Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist Health Cute Sleep Dogs Animals Shopping My ex Cats Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, our baby refuses to sleep through the night. My dad told us to play Heavy Metal because it put me to sleep as a baby. We are currently playing "Jekyll and Hyde" by Five Finger Death Punch on repeat and she’s been asleep for 7 hours. Unfortunately, the neighbours are furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 179

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 601

You deserved it 8 701

The Top

Today, in an attempt to support and encourage my efforts in getting a new job, my boyfriend said, "Imagine having triple what's in your bank account right now!" Triple what's in my bank account right now would be exactly $38.94. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 030

You deserved it 750

Today, I rushed my wife to the ER because she was having abdominal pains. She was crying in the car and very faintly said, "If I die, our daughter goes to my sister and they get everything in my will." We later found out she was just having a bad gas problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 851

You deserved it 354

Today, I came home from three months off the continent. My parents drove me home, and when we drove past our house, I assumed we were going for a welcome home supper. Instead, we drove to a dilapidated trailer and my parents said, "Welcome home." We used to live in a large, beautiful two-story house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 173

You deserved it 196

Today, as always, I had to change clothes and reapply my deodorant as soon as I got to work. It’s only a kilometre walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 126

Today, my mother was talking about a holiday she went on this time last year. She turned to me to say, "You would've loved it, it's a shame you couldn't come". I was there. It was just the two of us on holiday together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 882

You deserved it 2 805

Today, I got dumped after about a four year relationship. Feeling lonely and depressed, I posted on facebook, "is hurt, someone please text or call me." Then one of my cousins commented, "no one text him." His comment got 17 "likes." No one got in contact with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 437

You deserved it 9 741