Health: Today, my boyfriend used a laser pointer to show me where I needed... - FML

By chunkymonkey - 23/11/2011 23:54

Today, my boyfriend used a laser pointer to show me where I needed to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 815

You deserved it 6 282

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Roll with it

By anon - 17/09/2019 22:00

Today, my boyfriend encouragingly told me that he could tell I was losing weight, all because I had one roll fewer than usual on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 507

You deserved it 311

By pooh anne - 26/02/2013 20:26 - United States - Fort Smith

Today, I was trying to be sexy and change in front of my boyfriend. As I was changing, he started to talk to me about how we should both try and lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 078

You deserved it 7 980

Harsh

By anonymous - 14/12/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 499

You deserved it 12 228

I'm getting there!

By At least I'm trying - 26/08/2023 20:00

Today, one of my worst nightmares as an overweight woman came true. My boyfriend showed me a video someone had recorded of us exercising together, and who was mocking my weight the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 140

Subtle

By Anonymous - 13/10/2008 08:28

Today, during the trailers at the movies, my boyfriend elbowed me in the ribs and smiled when an ad for a weight loss institute was shown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 002

You deserved it 17 325

Food fight

By hss - 30/05/2011 01:59 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I had a fight because he wouldn't let me get what I wanted to eat, even though it was my money. He said, "It's way too many calories. I'm supposed to help you lose weight." When I pointed out that I had given up a month ago, he looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can tell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 888

You deserved it 49 755

By June - 05/10/2010 04:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 877

You deserved it 8 830

Manchild

By pixiebubz - 06/10/2011 03:59 - Australia

Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 936

You deserved it 29 426

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 19:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about our new year's resolutions. I started telling him that I wanted to lose some weight. He interrupted me, saying, "Yeah yeah, we all know you're fat, whatever." He then went on a 30 minute speech about how he'd really like to take more pictures of his cat in 2011. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 496

You deserved it 6 286

By Username - 06/10/2010 21:59 - France

Today, I was telling my boyfriend about how self conscious I am and how I obsess about my weight. He said, "Don't be ridiculous, you don't need to lose THAT much weight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 037

You deserved it 28 714

Next

Top comments

sheethapins 13

Thursday 24 November 2011 8:47

Use a laser pointer to show him what you wish would grow on him since he showed you what he wanted on you to shrink.

sinking_fish 12

Thursday 24 November 2011 9:06

13- In your sentence, you should have had quotations around "tht", a comma following, and a period at the end of your sentence. Neither am a "grammar nazi", nor do I care whether you feel like being a douche and correcting someone else just to pretend you are more intelligent, but until next time here is a little tip: make sure YOUR shit is up to par before you make an ass of yourself.

Comments

doglady 16

Tuesday 29 November 2011 6:28

Ugh what a douchetard. Point the laser at his junk and tell him where he needs enhancement.

svenskdod 2

Wednesday 30 November 2011 14:52

Haha, that's one organised dude...

katiekarnif 9

Friday 2 December 2011 22:58

dont let him get you do, 'big girls you are beautiful!'

hotzstuff89 0

Monday 5 March 2012 6:14

he probably doesnt realize that you wont stop thinking abut that for the rest of your life. he is a dick. i wish more guys understood the perfect skinny girl in their mind, doesn't exist.

musical94 0

Wednesday 18 July 2012 3:26

At least you have a boyfriend.

Authoress14 15

Saturday 5 January 2013 14:01

FYL bc your bf is a douche

whelp777 15

Saturday 25 April 2015 23:07

Boyfriend thinks that you are fat? Drop 150-300 lbs instantly. Kick his sorry ass to the curb. And there you go, all that dead weight lost.

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The Top

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 842

You deserved it 17 114

Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 226

You deserved it 7 532

The Top

Today, I was making out with some girl at a party and noticed that she wasn't very good at it. I tried to say, "You kiss like a 16 year-old doing it for the first time" but ended up saying, "You kiss like a 16 year-old." Upon saying that, a dozen people turned and looked at me, giving weird looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 1 593

Today, I was walking up to girlfriend's house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic, I surprised myself by catching it. He gestured for me throw it back and I watched it spiral wildy to the left and hit my girlfriend's mom in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 123

You deserved it 15 024

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 288

Today, I found out that the reason I didn't get the job that I have been working my butt off for over a year for is because they can't find anybody who can do my current job as good as me. I'm too good to be promoted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 423

You deserved it 3 028

Today, I visited my family for spring break because I've been away at college and I haven't seen them since Christmas. Almost as soon as I walked in the door, my mom had me clean the living room area, clean up cat vomit, and do the dishes. Thanks guys... I missed you too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 638

You deserved it 3 110

Today, I installed a pool in my house. Unfortunately, it was in my hallway. The floors are ruined all through my house, everything smells like mildew and no one is in a hurry to fix it because of Covid lockdowns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 194

You deserved it 610