Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed...

By thetalkingvagina - 09/06/2010 11:34 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 910

You deserved it 18 538

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 310

You deserved it 2 763

By Wawawiwa - 21/07/2010 23:44 - Namibia

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 829

You deserved it 53 765

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 656

You deserved it 9 534

By Anonymous - 29/06/2010 17:34 - Canada

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 734

You deserved it 25 777

By Anonymous - 12/04/2013 15:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 541

You deserved it 11 824

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 963

You deserved it 14 589

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 772

You deserved it 4 441

Observation

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 756

You deserved it 8 003

By CALIdime_15 - 05/05/2012 05:42 - United States

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 361

You deserved it 4 920

By Anonymous - 25/06/2015 03:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 498

You deserved it 5 019

We_Li_Ve_Fr_Ee 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 16:07

Boyfriend Win, simply put.

okieraider71 4

Wednesday 9 June 2010 16:14

All that evil needs to win the day is for men of good character to do nothing. All hail the great penis.

Comments

Ray_of_midnight 22

Friday 11 June 2010 10:37

What is it with people who can't cope when their partner gets silly in bed? People are too effin' serious.

Reptardz 0

Friday 11 June 2010 15:38

fu$@ing win...epic... Ima freakin do that

kimosabi55068 6

Friday 11 June 2010 20:57

that's hilarious

marley813 0

Friday 11 June 2010 22:59

I see no reason why this is a fml. you should feel good knowing that he is confindent enought to be so layed back with you quit your bitchin your man awsome !

k1ckazz 0

Friday 11 June 2010 23:04

so who won?? was there blood? lol

penguinazul 13

Saturday 12 June 2010 0:17

Well, you know, this is what vaginas are for, aren't they? Doesn't ever girl want to conquer a penis with their ******? *scratches head* Maybe you should become a nun.