Miscellaneous: Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression,...

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 19:05 - United States - Brandon

Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 727

You deserved it 4 656

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Same thing different taste

By Brastro - 07/04/2009 11:46 - Ireland

Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 987

You deserved it 179 135

By tired individual - 12/01/2014 11:04 - United States - Dickson

Today, trying to get some much needed rest, I heard my neighbors fighting loudly. When they finally quit, they left a DVD on, directly behind my wall: Spongebob, with the menu tune on loop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 219

You deserved it 3 869

By Alpha - 17/12/2011 21:18 - Estonia

Today, while I was meditating in my room, I started to hear strange sounds. I was thrilled and thought I was having some sort of profound experience. It turned out my brother had tuned in to South Park out in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 540

You deserved it 31 788

By Kenton - 15/06/2019 00:14

Today, my older brother called me in the middle of the night to describe to me, in painstaking elaborate detail, the Yamaha commercial he'd just watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 593

You deserved it 172

By whyarewerelated - 08/09/2011 15:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I was working alone in the office with my brother. He's run out of work to do, so has been singing Disney songs loudly and badly, throwing stationery at me, and just now snuck up on me from behind and wrapped duct tape round my face. It's just us in the office next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 095

You deserved it 2 863

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 21:56 - United States

Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 353

You deserved it 3 821

Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

By EarScentedCandle - 27/05/2018 09:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, after watching Shrek, my little brother started collecting his earwax to make it into a candle like Shrek did. I can’t get him to throw it away even after bribing him with bags of candy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 203

You deserved it 337

By Anonymous - 06/11/2010 11:45 - Australia

Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 323

You deserved it 5 600

By riiiighhhttttt - 05/08/2013 05:38 - United States - Laurel

Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 697

You deserved it 4 348

By JackieD - 25/08/2014 18:05 - United States - Bellevue

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 099

You deserved it 16 221

jainam 7

Sunday 8 March 2015 13:09

Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

feven 32

Sunday 8 March 2015 13:04

Maybe Shrek is trying to tell you something

Comments

teentee401 36

Sunday 8 March 2015 14:46

Better check yourself before you Shrek yourself...

TheGatekeeper43 8

Sunday 8 March 2015 14:56

It was meant to be

sprout_08 12

Sunday 8 March 2015 14:59

Haha

ARetardedSeal 24

Sunday 8 March 2015 15:04

Did he whisper into your ear saying "this is my swamp"

AliLikesApples 14

Wednesday 11 March 2015 1:51

No, but he kept screaming "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP!!!!"

friedpwnadge 25

Sunday 8 March 2015 15:09

hahahahahahahhahaha your life sucks op

NeoMatrix25 12

Sunday 8 March 2015 15:40

I'm gonna guess Shawshank Redemption. I seem to recall a big green ogre in that movie.

ShadowlessSpear 21

Sunday 8 March 2015 16:18

He'd do it for Shrek.

ThatDamHuntress 20

Sunday 8 March 2015 16:20

At least it wasn't Sherk ****.

150493x 29

Sunday 8 March 2015 17:18

You beat me to it. Damn.

Steve95401 49

Sunday 8 March 2015 17:26

Or My Little Pony ****.

Aspyr 10

Sunday 8 March 2015 16:56

I watched the ending of that movie last night

Cebolamole 13

Sunday 8 March 2015 17:28

It's never ogre.

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Cute Love Surprise Texting My ex Awkward Wanker Intimacy Sex Sleep Health Insomnia Mental health Cooking Food Kids Weekend Parents Miscellaneous Annoying Pranks Embarrassing Work Technology Coworkers Zoom Roommate Argument Cats Animals

The Top

Today, I received a text message from an unknown man. Apparently, after I proposed last week, she broke things off with him. I thought this affair message was a joke until he proved it by sending me photos of them together. She had told him that she was going to leave me for him, unless "I made up my mind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 106

Today, my girlfriend decided to try swallowing instead of spitting. Now this was entirely her own idea, I never asked her to try, and yet when she gagged, vomited, and sneezed so it all came dribbling out of her nose, somehow it was all my fault because I’m "disgusting." I love you too, Sweetie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 109

The Top

Today, my flatmate has gotten so obese that she's breaking through the solid wood floors just by walking barefoot. She refuses to diet, and we're never getting our deposit back on this place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 058

You deserved it 131

Today, my boyfriend came home and demanded dinner. I started suggesting things, but he threw out that we should just fend for ourselves. I made pasta and offered him some, but he decided to throw a fit and go to bed at 6:30pm without dinner. He then woke up at 9 to complain he was hungry, then slept on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 144

Today, I started my period and have cramps that came from the hottest part of hell. I also have to go to work so that I don’t lose my holiday pay. Happy New Year to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 125

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend, since we weren't getting along. When I got home, I remembered that today is his birthday. Him and all our friends now think I'm a total bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 1 679

Today, it only took 25 minutes of working before I was covered in old man pee. I think that's a new personal best. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 401

You deserved it 173

Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 813

You deserved it 23 502

Same thing different taste

Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

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