Miscellaneous: Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression,...

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 19:05 - United States - Brandon

Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 727

You deserved it 4 656

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When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Brastro - 07/04/2009 11:46 - Ireland

Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 987

You deserved it 179 135

By tired individual - 12/01/2014 11:04 - United States - Dickson

Today, trying to get some much needed rest, I heard my neighbors fighting loudly. When they finally quit, they left a DVD on, directly behind my wall: Spongebob, with the menu tune on loop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 219

You deserved it 3 869

By Alpha - 17/12/2011 21:18 - Estonia

Today, while I was meditating in my room, I started to hear strange sounds. I was thrilled and thought I was having some sort of profound experience. It turned out my brother had tuned in to South Park out in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 540

You deserved it 31 788

By Kenton - 15/06/2019 00:14

Today, my older brother called me in the middle of the night to describe to me, in painstaking elaborate detail, the Yamaha commercial he'd just watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 593

You deserved it 172

By whyarewerelated - 08/09/2011 15:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I was working alone in the office with my brother. He's run out of work to do, so has been singing Disney songs loudly and badly, throwing stationery at me, and just now snuck up on me from behind and wrapped duct tape round my face. It's just us in the office next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 095

You deserved it 2 863

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 21:56 - United States

Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 353

You deserved it 3 821

Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

By EarScentedCandle - 27/05/2018 09:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, after watching Shrek, my little brother started collecting his earwax to make it into a candle like Shrek did. I can’t get him to throw it away even after bribing him with bags of candy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 203

You deserved it 337

By Anonymous - 06/11/2010 11:45 - Australia

Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 323

You deserved it 5 600

By riiiighhhttttt - 05/08/2013 05:38 - United States - Laurel

Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 697

You deserved it 4 348

By JackieD - 25/08/2014 18:05 - United States - Bellevue

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 099

You deserved it 16 221

jainam 7

Sunday 8 March 2015 13:09

Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

feven 32

Sunday 8 March 2015 13:04

Maybe Shrek is trying to tell you something

Comments

oroxsnyder 8

Tuesday 10 March 2015 1:22

It's fate

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 15 March 2015 7:48

Quick, change the channel!

PokemonMaster0 15

Sunday 15 March 2015 9:03

DONKEH

Steffi3 40

Wednesday 18 March 2015 9:08

Which leaves the question: which Shrek movie?

TallMist 32

Thursday 23 April 2015 19:53

So, he came in like a shreking ball, then? *Hides under rock*

marxism 8

Friday 14 August 2015 2:19

You deserve it for attempting to oppress the greatness of the Ogrelord.

petethelovehorn 19

Tuesday 25 August 2015 1:49

The ogrelord works in mysterious ways

clawster24 8

Tuesday 17 January 2017 13:10

It's not ogre yet, OP

Keywords

Love Surprise Cute Awkward My ex Texting Intimacy Sex Wanker Mental health Health Insomnia Sleep Food Cooking Kids Weekend Parents Pranks Annoying Miscellaneous Work Embarrassing Technology Coworkers Zoom Argument Roommate Pizza Animals

The Top

Today, I started my day with terrible food poisoning and ending my day alone, with a boyfriend in jail. We've had one short conversation since he was arrested. My birthday is in three days, and we have no idea if he will be released in time because of the system working slowly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 419

Today, I was looking at myself in the mirror and tried to touch my face. Unfortunately I have Tourette's, so my hand just uncontrollably slammed into my cheek, consequently jamming one of my fingernails into it. It started bleeding like crazy. My fingernails aren't exactly long, either… that's how hard it hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 51

The Top

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 696

You deserved it 4 013

Today, my 2-year-old asked for cake, so I told her I would make her one. I showed her two boxes of cake and asked which one she wanted. She picked one and happily tried opening it. She'd thought a fully cooked cake is in the box. Ever tried explaining baking to a toddler? FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 512

You deserved it 815

Today, I still haven’t consummated my marriage with my new wife. She said no sex before marriage and I obliged for 2 long years. During our honeymoon, she kept making up excuses. Now when I sit down and talk to her, she calls me a “horny pervert” and accuses me of “using her for sex” and stormed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 804

You deserved it 522

Today, my psychotic ex-boyfriend hit a brand new low. I was served court papers, saying that he’s suing me by demanding I give him a paternity test for my daughter. He’s also telling everyone he’s her real father. He and I were broken up for more than a year before I even got pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 112

Today, my parents blew my entire college fund in their quest to finish building their replica Hobbit house in our back yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 843

You deserved it 6 320

Today, in a moment reminiscent of Two and a Half Men, my divorce lawyer screwed me over and gave my soon-to-be-ex-wife 90% of everything. I now need to pay a new lawyer to fix what she screwed up. And yes, she was lashing out at me because my brother had sex with her then never called her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 138

Same thing different taste

Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

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