Animals: Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast....

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By scratchpost - 28/10/2010 12:07 - United States

Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 939

You deserved it 4 624

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Same thing different taste

By cdn_steed - 23/04/2011 13:11 - United States

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 979

You deserved it 4 662

Rise and shine

By Anonymous - 29/04/2020 08:00

Today, my cat woke me up at 3 a.m. by jumping from the shelf and landing on my nutsack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 556

You deserved it 282

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 06:00 - United States - Pittsford

Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 153

You deserved it 504

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 22:36 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 269

You deserved it 7 320

Cujo, but for cats

By Anonymous - 25/03/2021 08:01

Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 304

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 20:53 - United States

Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 261

You deserved it 5 275

Say sorry to Mr Whiskers!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2021 14:01

Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 334

By tornkhakis - 24/02/2014 07:20 - United States - Bloomington

Today, my cat decided that instead of using the brand-new scratching post I bought him, he was going to use my pant leg while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 202

You deserved it 4 178

By meowmeow - 21/09/2010 04:38 - Australia

Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 779

You deserved it 31 292

Meow!

By patronuscat? - 05/10/2017 01:30

Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 637

You deserved it 1 067

nswan 5

Thursday 28 October 2010 19:50

lucky cat...

steelersfan32 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 20:24

ydi for having boobs hard enough for a cat to sharpen them on.

Comments

Greenpenguin999 7

Thursday 28 October 2010 22:45

Your cat is making his move.

j4ym4n 2

Thursday 28 October 2010 22:59

The cat would of found itself face first against the wall in my house.

mindloop 6

Thursday 28 October 2010 23:01

that is funnnnny, my dog did something of the same just a couple days ago. It was his paw in my nuts when he jumped on the bed..

NomedAce 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 23:37

Lmao

LOVEFML25 1

Friday 29 October 2010 0:47

If you're going to have a pet cat, declaw it. They don't need the claws if they're indoor, which I believe all cats should be.

DGAFprincess 0

Friday 29 October 2010 2:26

^^ agreed... they don't just take out the nail bed... they amputate the tip of each toe!

lol523 0

Friday 29 October 2010 0:56

he was making sure u dont have breast cancer

ampex189 0

Friday 29 October 2010 1:18

******* cats

snoopatroopa 0

Friday 29 October 2010 1:33

maybe he wanted milk!

xXdotdotcurveXx 0

Friday 29 October 2010 2:11

that happens to me sometimes too :(

DGAFprincess 0

Friday 29 October 2010 2:22

just one more reason dogs are better... I get woken up by kisses :)

angrynegro7 16

Sunday 31 October 2010 23:52

How much do you want to bet that your dog licks it's no-no spot before s/he kisses you in the morning?

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