Health: Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not...

By jgdgjyfg - 25/07/2011 07:21 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 179

You deserved it 8 909

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Same thing different taste

HAZARDOUS WASTE!

By Anonymous - 07/10/2023 20:00 - Germany

Today, my mom tried to keep her boyfriend from indiscriminately devouring my personal things in the fridge. So, instead of just sticking a note with my name on them, the lids of my jars of homemade pesto are now decorated in sharpie with a motif of “NO! DO NOT EAT!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 120

By sick of this shit - 12/03/2016 13:33 - United States - West Grove

Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 950

You deserved it 1 753

By Anonymous - 21/03/2009 04:46 - United States

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. Then I found another note on a can that said, "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 561

You deserved it 688 720

By Anonymous - 22/03/2014 23:07 - United States - Auberry

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 718

You deserved it 13 272

By trgtyo - 18/05/2009 23:20 - United States

Today, I noticed my parents replaced my senior picture that hung on our livingroom wall with a painted one. Of our German Sheperd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 712

You deserved it 3 618

By fml - 20/05/2010 21:32 - Canada

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 991

You deserved it 7 610

By ZeroApostle4Ever - 23/02/2012 08:00 - United States

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 078

You deserved it 6 604

By Anonymous - 21/06/2012 14:52 - United States - Medway

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 263

You deserved it 7 806

By 2k16 - 17/03/2016 02:48 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I came home to find that my dog had figured out how to open the fridge again. He'd helped himself to raw eggs and crab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 822

You deserved it 1 681

By mikey51 - 10/03/2012 01:56 - Australia

Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 632

You deserved it 41 587

amazinglyHappy 6

Monday 25 July 2011 16:09

Just tape a picture of himto the fridge saying '**** you'

eminemchick 19

Monday 25 July 2011 16:10

at least it wasnt "Do not feed the wild snorlax"

Comments

chasesoltis_fml 0

Wednesday 27 July 2011 3:15

wow that's mean!!

itswhateveridk 0

Wednesday 27 July 2011 6:15

what a bastard

L0ZA 0

Wednesday 27 July 2011 7:52

good shit hahaha

badactor009 0

Friday 29 July 2011 3:23

Fight back with your own notes. Put derogatory labels on stuff he likes such as "idiot snacks", "Hitler niblets" or "control freak chips"

saturnsonic 3

Friday 29 July 2011 20:03

this made me laugh You Father FTW!!! On a side note i like dating She Beasts ;-)

kay2kay 1

Saturday 30 July 2011 10:46

what?!?!?

woody768 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 6:51

Lol thank you for this idea :P I tried it on my sister :P

Nadjipooh 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 17:26

thats just cold

iBangPillowz 3

Tuesday 2 August 2011 8:58

Nice

phuckmylife_1 9

Tuesday 2 August 2011 17:26

wat an asshole

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 831

Today, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can only have sex with really fat men, because that’s what turns me on, yet as soon as the sex is over, through no fault of theirs, I have to run to the toilet to be sick because I can’t believe what I just had sex with. I’m so messed up in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 2 524

The Top

Today, during class, a girl had suggested how I, a 16 year-old guy, would be a high maintenance girlfriend. We sat and debated this, allowing for other people to listen in and agree with her, and eventually the entire class agreed with her. Even the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 957

You deserved it 4 922

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 450

You deserved it 3 536

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterwards tried to comfort me by saying there'd been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 494

You deserved it 5 093

Today, I decided to call the number a cute guy had scribbled onto a napkin and given to me. I was greeted by, "Hello, this is Dr. Allen's office." Surprised, because I didn't remember his name being anything close to Allen, I asked who Dr. Allen was. She's a psychologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 096

You deserved it 5 728

Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 631

You deserved it 8 986

Today, while I was working in a grocery store, a costumer decide to take a dump on the ground after I told him he couldn’t access to restrooms because my boss closed them due to COVID restrictions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 182

Same thing different taste

HAZARDOUS WASTE!

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