Money: Today, my dad told me he has money set aside for when he has...

By Anonymous - 12/06/2011 19:21 - United States

Today, my dad told me he has money set aside for when he has to bail me out of jail, because "it's bound to happen sooner or later." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 645

You deserved it 10 765

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Same thing different taste

By No one special. - 12/12/2010 05:28 - United States

Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 495

You deserved it 2 433

By fox_at_heart - 30/09/2016 02:21 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I found out my father has been saving money to help me buy my first car. In the same conversation, I found out my mother, unbeknownst to my dad, used nearly all of the money to bail my drunken, deadbeat uncle out of jail for the fourth time a month ago. He's now back in prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 909

You deserved it 778

By Username - 23/06/2011 08:17 - United States

Today, I found out that my dad has been trying to take money out of my savings account to pay for divorce fees and a hammock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 366

You deserved it 2 603

By that was mine - 15/05/2015 22:26 - United States - Cherry Hill

Today, my mom cleaned out my bank account, saying my "no-good dad" owes her child support and that she'll get it one way or another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 893

You deserved it 2 349

By MadSon - 11/10/2009 02:59 - United States

Today, my dad had something to tell me. He'd cleaned out my bank account to pay off 38,000 dollars worth of gambling debt. My wedding is in 5 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 033

You deserved it 4 118

By needofmoney - 18/02/2011 02:16 - United States

Today, I finally told my dad that he owes me over 400 dollars, and that I need it or else I'd get kicked out of my apartment. He only gave me 70 and said to get a better job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 664

You deserved it 5 085

By chiktikka - 14/01/2014 22:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 124

You deserved it 8 418

Free money for me, but not for thee

By Anonymous - 04/08/2020 14:01

Today, my dad refuses to let me inherit all of his money, which might just put a roof over my head when I’m older. *His* money? Well, actually, he inherited it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 229

You deserved it 931

By FATS DOMINO - 20/10/2011 15:39 - United States

Today, my sister finally broke down and told me that our dad gambled away of all my college savings, and I would have to pay for school the best way I can. They have known for months, and when I asked why nobody told me, the reply was, "You're a college boy, we thought you would figure it out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 607

You deserved it 2 448

By ~__~ - 20/03/2015 21:23

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 657

You deserved it 2 462

melissamoshh 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 23:27

How thoughtful

whiskuit 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 23:34

Now there's something you can't call a... *puts on sunglasses* ...trust fund. YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH

Comments

mahomie97 7

Monday 13 June 2011 8:06

what a great dad you have!! haah fyl

alex6946 10

Monday 13 June 2011 8:11

how sweet.

frankgrimes 4

Monday 13 June 2011 8:14

that just means your a hoodlum. your dad should be the one on here saying fml for having a hoodlum child

YoungBanks 3

Monday 13 June 2011 8:29

I see nothing wrong with this your dad is an honest guy

LSU33DucKAholiC 0

Monday 13 June 2011 8:42

Aww I wish my dad was that awesome!

wishingstars 3

Monday 13 June 2011 9:33

it's happens to almost everyone be glad you have it especially If its still there in 20 years you can ask him for it plus the interest lol

Lucysmom1 0

Monday 13 June 2011 9:36

Wtf that's just messed up

mlana96 0

Monday 13 June 2011 9:41

hey it's okay me and my mom are positive in gunna go to jail for partying too hard lol

muffinkitty 15

Monday 13 June 2011 9:49

screw college fund! you need to start saving bail money!!!

italianbby 11

Monday 13 June 2011 10:00

What a nice Dad!

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The Top

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989." They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194 754

You deserved it 37 492

Today, I watched as my girlfriend washed the last of the dishes with a dishcloth, then used that same dishcloth to wipe down the counters. I now understand why we always have bugs. FML

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You deserved it 210

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 146

Today, I woke up late for a very important presentation. I got dressed but forgot to wear a bra. During the presentation, I bent down to adjust a shoe strap. I rose to find that the thin straps of my blouse snapped and exposed my breasts. I gave a great presentation and a titty show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 754

You deserved it 35 704

Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 046

You deserved it 23 596

Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 671

You deserved it 2 511

Today, I used the last of my money to buy a bag of vending machine chips for dinner. It got stuck. A passerby saw and generously offered to buy another bag of the same chips to dislodge it. Gratefully, I accepted his offer. It stayed stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 745

You deserved it 275

Today, while looking through the camera my boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 820

You deserved it 67 117

Same thing different taste

Free money for me, but not for thee

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