Money: Today, my dad told me he has money set aside for when he has...

By Anonymous - 12/06/2011 19:21 - United States

Today, my dad told me he has money set aside for when he has to bail me out of jail, because "it's bound to happen sooner or later." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 648

You deserved it 10 769

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By No one special. - 12/12/2010 05:28 - United States

Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 498

You deserved it 2 433

By fox_at_heart - 30/09/2016 02:21 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I found out my father has been saving money to help me buy my first car. In the same conversation, I found out my mother, unbeknownst to my dad, used nearly all of the money to bail my drunken, deadbeat uncle out of jail for the fourth time a month ago. He's now back in prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 913

You deserved it 779

By Username - 23/06/2011 08:17 - United States

Today, I found out that my dad has been trying to take money out of my savings account to pay for divorce fees and a hammock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 369

You deserved it 2 603

By that was mine - 15/05/2015 22:26 - United States - Cherry Hill

Today, my mom cleaned out my bank account, saying my "no-good dad" owes her child support and that she'll get it one way or another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 895

You deserved it 2 351

By MadSon - 11/10/2009 02:59 - United States

Today, my dad had something to tell me. He'd cleaned out my bank account to pay off 38,000 dollars worth of gambling debt. My wedding is in 5 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 036

You deserved it 4 118

By needofmoney - 18/02/2011 02:16 - United States

Today, I finally told my dad that he owes me over 400 dollars, and that I need it or else I'd get kicked out of my apartment. He only gave me 70 and said to get a better job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 667

You deserved it 5 087

By chiktikka - 14/01/2014 22:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 130

You deserved it 8 420

Free money for me, but not for thee

By Anonymous - 04/08/2020 14:01

Today, my dad refuses to let me inherit all of his money, which might just put a roof over my head when I’m older. *His* money? Well, actually, he inherited it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 232

You deserved it 934

By FATS DOMINO - 20/10/2011 15:39 - United States

Today, my sister finally broke down and told me that our dad gambled away of all my college savings, and I would have to pay for school the best way I can. They have known for months, and when I asked why nobody told me, the reply was, "You're a college boy, we thought you would figure it out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 611

You deserved it 2 448

By ~__~ - 20/03/2015 21:23

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 660

You deserved it 2 463

melissamoshh 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 23:27

How thoughtful

whiskuit 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 23:34

Now there's something you can't call a... *puts on sunglasses* ...trust fund. YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH

Comments

smallory42 0

Monday 13 June 2011 2:54

Thats nice of him.

bewbies 3

Monday 13 June 2011 2:55

live up to his expectations then.

tieu2arock 3

Monday 13 June 2011 2:55

well, be happy he cares.

JustKeepOnHatin 7

Monday 13 June 2011 3:01

your kinda lucky, if I got put in jail my daddy would make me stay and learn my lesson :p

crzy4life 0

Monday 13 June 2011 3:07

lol that's funny

limepinklis 0

Monday 13 June 2011 3:19

well...is it?

Rainbow_dumpster 28

Monday 13 June 2011 3:32

At least he cares. :)

skikid 0

Monday 13 June 2011 3:50

lucky!

alicecanitbe 0

Monday 13 June 2011 4:02

well u never no but, WHEN u prove him wrong make sure u still get the move, locked up or not :P

franticravyn 7

Monday 13 June 2011 4:07

Optimistic dad you have there.

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous DIY Cats Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, out of the kindness of my heart, and so he wouldn't have to spend any money, I gave my ex-boyfriend my login information to my Vudu account. Big mistake. He logged me out of all devices, changed the password, and won't give me the new login information until I give him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 702

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 3 951

The Top

Today, I was taking a lifeguard certification test. I nearly drowned halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 854

You deserved it 22 325

Today, I ate what was supposed to be a delicious mini powdered donut. The first one tasted funny, so I pulled out another one and realized that the powdered sugar was now in fact powdered hairy mold. Then I looked at the package and realized it was over a year and a half old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 732

You deserved it 40 818

Today, I found out my friend of 15 years, who cut off our weekly gaming group during Covid after a fight, is speaking to everyone but me. I wasn't even in the fight, I just checked in to see if he was OK after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 175

Today, after 3 days of hearing a car alarm going off almost continuously, the city finally came and towed it. Immediately after, the owner showed up with a switchblade, inquiring who called the city. My neighbors ratted me out, despite the fact I had nothing to do with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 128

You deserved it 178

Today, I found out my coworker was arrested for beating the crap out of his wife. I gave him a serious pep talk yesterday where I told him to stop taking her shit and start standing up for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 998

You deserved it 5 153

Today, I went to my dad's workplace because my sister was there and I wanted to see my newborn niece. I was overjoyed until my dad came up to me. It had apparently been pretty hectic for the past week, because he was on the verge of another stress-induced heart attack. Yes, another. We had to help him outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 82

Same thing different taste

Free money for me, but not for thee

Top comments

Comments