7? What the ****? How the **** do you even know what sex is at 7? That's like 1st/2nd grade!

@ 55: People like you don't deserve to have sex. What the ****, dude.

I understand OP's logic, but its flawed. Good intentions, wrong reation. Kids dont listen to things like that unless they're given good reasons. With little kids "Don't touch the stove" doesnt do you any good. "Don't touch the stove, because you'll get hurt" makes a whole lot more sense. Same with older kids. "Don't have sex" does absolutely nothing. Don't have sex because you could get prgnant, because of STD's, or even something silly like "don't have sex cause you dont want your friends to think you're a *****" works better. In truth its that last one that kept me a virgin for so long.

dude chill lmao

I completely agree. I love my mom for being open and honest about sex. She even told me ways I can get contraception without her if I was embarrassed to ask. You should be helping your kids understand sex and try to help the avoid the negative aspects of sex. You should not be forbidding them. That just makes them want to do it more.

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. She's a bad mother for instilling some 'semblance of morals in her daughter? Waiting for marriage before having sex doesn't "**** you up for life", virginity is something to be PROUD of! You're the reason we have 12 year-old girls with heavy makeup up so you can't even tell their age anymore and they all look like streetwalkers. Geez. OP: I, at least, think you did the right thing. And don't worry - like many people have said, it doesn't mean she's started having sex.

You just made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. Puritanical sex shame has nothing to do with morality. Morality is about not hurting others. The idea that sex outside of marriage is shameful is based in religious tradition, not logical morality. One can be a good person and have tons of sex, so long as they are being responsible, safe and not lying to or hurting others. You didn't give any logical reasoning behind your argument #205, whereas I have plenty of logic and sound reasoning behind my LOGICAL statement that a parent should communicate openly and honestly with her children about sex. Refer back to my previous comment. I never said anything at all insinuating that 12 year olds should wear heavy makeup or even have sex. I specifically said that she should encourage her daughter to wait until she is ready and with someone she loves and trusts and to tell her that she likely is not mature enough yet to handle the emotions sex can bring. People like you mistake "tradition" for logic and morality and **** up the world with your recycled bullshit instead of using some common sense.

While I agree that no mother should actually pressure their kid into waiting for marriage, I think in this particular situation she did the right thing. A 12 year old girl isn't quite capable of comprehending the responsibilities of sex, and their judgment of character is hardly known for its accuracy. If she had told the daughter to wait until she loved and trusted someone very much, and until she was absolutely ready, I don't personally think the girl would have understood the consequences of misjudgement and I think she would have taken it lightly. I think she needed a more concrete answer to hold her over until the mother feels she is mature enough to make that judgement call, and then the mother should have told her that she decides when she is ready. Basically, I don't think that you can just go telling 12 year old girls that the decision is up to them. They're not mature enough yet, they won't take it seriously.

There is nothing wrong with waiting until you're married. I'm not gonna judge anybody, but that's all I have to say; nothing wrong with it. When you raise children, you teach them what you think is right and wrong and what you think is fair. Believe me or not, not everyone shares your views.

I agree that a 12 year old may not be mature enough to make good decisions. But I do not think that just flat out telling her to wait is likely to even work. I know that I, personally, was mature enough at 12 to garner many valuable lessons from practical advice and personal anecdotes my mother told me about many aspects of growing up. She didn't talk to me much about sex until I was older though and I wish that she would have talked to me more openly and honestly and in detail regarding sex instead of just telling me to wait and I really believe that this may have saved me from some peer pressure and bad decisions. There is no perfect solution; kids will make mistakes. I believe that the best thing a parent can do if she really wants to prolong a child's virginity is to speak openly and in detail (possibly adding in personal experience) about all of the consequences of sex. Because a kid is immature, that is all the more reason to TRY and give her some genuine understanding. Many kids WILL NOT just trust "just don't do it" over their raging hormones. Furthermore, I believe she will resent you for just telling her what to do instead of educating her.

dramakat, some short parts of your comments were a little angry and on edge, but because of all the amazing points you made i love you anyway.

Yes you can control your kids when it comes to sex. You just never let them leave the house. School, home, homework. How can you say that you have no control over your kids? It's pretty easy.

Tell me kat, what's your take on abortion?

Incidentally, your definition of morality is off. Not hurting others is the only law that MAN can enforce, but what about God? The reason man's law can't perfectly reflect God's law is because there is such a thing as a private sin. If you want people to stop hurting others, go to the police. If you want them to stop hurting themselves, you turn to God. Morality is God's law.

Hich, not everyone believes in God and not everyone believes in the same sort of God. Given that the United States is a secular nation, God should not be considered in laws that everyone must abide by. Leave matters of God to personal choice.

Dramakat - Glad to see someone around here shares my opinion on these things. Hich17 - I consider myself a moral person without feeling the need to fear your God. My sense of morality comes from within, not from without. Unless you can give me a definition that doesn't involve something that I don't believe in, I'm not going to be able to accept that definition. It sounds as ridiculous to me as, for example, "following the will of Zeus" might sound to you.

Someoneposting - You and I are making the same point. I realize man's law can't be the same as God's law - that would be impossible. But that's why God's law exists (what I call morality). Regalarius - First off, I appreciate your posing a reasonable argument - I understand I started this sounding angry, but I'm really not interested in a flame war, I simply enjoy intelligent debate. It'll be difficult for me to argue morality without bringing God into it. If I were trying to convert you, I would start with trying to prove that God exists and going from there, but this is very much not the place to attempt such a feat. I suppose I would ask, where DO your morals come from? Why put limitations on yourself if you can get away with them scot free? Is it a matter of pride? For me, a Christian, I admit that my one of my highest deterrants from sin is the fear of hell. This is flawed, I admit - my intent should be purely to do the will of God for the love of God. Either way, that's a big reason I try to be a good person. Without that, I honestly don't know what kind of a person I would be.

Wow calm down. She was put on the spot and said the first thing that came to her mind. No one said she isn't going to talk to her about it more and she never "forbade" her.

Hich17 in your response to (something that started with an R that I would have to scroll up to remember how to spell) you asked where their morality comes from. Now obviously I cant speak for him/her but I too enjoy intelligent debate, so I'm going to stick my nose in here and start with this one. :) First off, my sense of morality comes yes, partly from pride, as you guessed. But also from a genuine desire to do good. It's my belief that the reason for humanities existance, is just to improve its own existance, by improving life for future generations. Humanity exists for the sake of humanity, i guess is what my thoughts boil down to. By feeling thats the meaning for my life as a human, I must then do what i feel is right for those next generations. That decision of right and wrong was partly given to me by my society. Certainly if i was taught differntly as a child i would have different beliefs. In regards to sex, I feel that, if I were to have unprotected sex in a situation where i was unable, to raise a child I would be ruing not only my own life, by subjecting myself to something I couldnt handle, but also and more importantly that childs life, and if my purpose is to better the world for and a future generation, I would have just gone against my purpose. And as for diseases, those would ruin my life, and in turn, I would be unable to give help to future people. Besides that I feel that it shouldnt matter whether one belives in ANY religion. I view religions, all of them, as really just an avenue of morality. They teach what is right and wrong, and make those descisions for you, in order that you dont have to, and they create a set of rewards (heaven in the case of christianity) and punisments (hell) for those people whom work better under that kind of structure. And if it turns out that Heaven and hell exist I'm hoping that my own moral compass has pointed me in the right direction, and if not, well, those were my own mistakes and I will deal with the consequences. I dont believe heaven and hell do not exist. I believe that they are equally likely to exist as not exist. I'm a see it to beileve it kind of person. I havent been to heaven or hell yet. I'll let you know when i get there, or not, depending on how things are after this. :)

Totally agree @203 my moms like urs lol

Haha. No one will break your wiener, bro.