Animals: Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having...

By Cecilly2010 - 28/04/2011 15:53

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 616

You deserved it 5 243

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/05/2015 20:02 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 366

You deserved it 2 467

Asshole

By Anonymous - 21/06/2013 20:38 - Netherlands - Mierlo

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 146

You deserved it 3 238

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 730

You deserved it 5 791

By Anonymous - 09/12/2014 21:14 - United States - Margate City

Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 609

You deserved it 3 153

Every day is Caturday

By Anonymous - 16/11/2012 00:36 - United States - Panama City

Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 534

You deserved it 1 834

By Deadman - 02/04/2012 13:37 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 899

You deserved it 2 533

Anger management

By FML - 08/12/2013 18:00 - Puerto Rico - Cayey

Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 670

You deserved it 3 398

Drunk MC

By Anonymous - 11/03/2013 14:03 - Sweden - Sundbyberg

Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 501

You deserved it 3 035

By Anonymous - 22/02/2010 16:38 - United States

Today, my dad screamed at me because I've been "spending too much money". He's been out of a job for 4 months and I've been giving him 300 dollars a month to help pay for bills... and his beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 732

You deserved it 3 428

By meeeoow - 22/01/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 668

You deserved it 2 777

samsanpoet 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 19:00

yeah why cant he be like the dog on the beggin' strips commercial! lazy dog

Insane_Tea 15

Thursday 28 April 2011 19:01

Well someone's gotta be put to work. Booze isn't going to buy itself ya' hear.

Comments

vbmg152 18

Friday 29 April 2011 1:19

Lazy damn dogs! All mine do is lay around and sleep and eat all day! Time to get out there and get a job, pay their own way! LOL!!

selects71 0

Friday 29 April 2011 1:26

f'in hilarious

Blackemo129 0

Friday 29 April 2011 1:37

I feel ya pain -_-

MsSoulReaper 27

Friday 29 April 2011 1:38

Dogs talk and work now? Whaaat, your dad is crazy when he drunk.

DropDeadBlaze 0

Friday 29 April 2011 1:49

sorry but that's hilarious.

timelessfahad 3

Friday 29 April 2011 2:15

This reminds me of Brian and Peter.

antisocialanna 0

Friday 29 April 2011 2:18

more like facepalm :p

nvrsaynvr 0

Friday 29 April 2011 2:32

wow thts...weird. if yur dad doesnt hve a job i'd b funni b creepy if yur dog said bak "yu get yur lazy ass up nd get a job"

samstobbs 0

Friday 29 April 2011 2:58

this isn't an fml.

jlegrande 0

Friday 29 April 2011 3:15

stupid lazy dog!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was at a family gathering and during a lull in the conversation I started to tell a joke to lighten the mood. Halfway through, I realized the joke was incredibly inappropriate. The room fell silent, and my grandma hasn’t looked at me the same since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 562

Today, I was out on a date with a guy. His hot co-worker came to have a beer with us, and I knew my best friend would think he was gorgeous. I wanted to take a picture of him without knowing, so I tried to hold up my phone and pretend to be texting. The flash went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 262

You deserved it 123 072

The Top

Today, I worked with a sweet old lady. She refused to cook most of the food on the menu, and the food she did cook was super oily. When she received complaints about it, she blamed me for not draining the oil. When the customer defended me, she then told the customer it was her job to drain the oil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 112

Today, as always, I have a very weak stomach. I'm in Japan right now, and all the unfamiliar foods set me off every time I eat. I can choose between having a great time and starving myself half to death, or sitting in my hotel room all day with stomach pains and diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 815

You deserved it 3 426

Today, my wife of three years asked me to meet her for lunch at Subway. When I arrived, she was standing in the parking lot. She handed me a footlong sub, said "I got you a turkey sandwich" and followed it up with "And I'm leaving you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 166

You deserved it 5 245

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 595

You deserved it 7 209

Today, my mom and I went out to a fancy and expensive restaurant per her request; she told me it was her treat. After we ate our meals and the large check came, she excused herself to the bathroom. She didn't come back. I was dine-and-dashed by my own mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 632

You deserved it 2 040

Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 218

You deserved it 2 417