In his defense, it would kind of hurt his reputation as a fitness trainer if he had a fat wife...

I love how you all assume she's getting super chunky. I had an ex who told me that I was getting chunky because I gained 3 lbs. =/ Yeah, he's an ex for more than just that reason. There's no saying whether she's had children or not. @OP - Either way I would suggest counseling if not in hopes to "save the marriage", but to help you decide what you need to do for yourself.

well to be honest... no-one wants to **** a fat bitch

pretty sure he told you that 100 times.. besides.. fat chicks have breathing problems.. and u cant get it on well in bed.

My first instinct was "that jerk!" But then I thought about it. It might just be that he's willing to sacrifice the woman he loves and his marriage just to get OP healthy so she can live a longer, better life. If she's not overweight, then he really is a jerk. But if she is, although he went about it the wrong way, he's trying to help. He's seen first hand in his job that it's possible to get in shape, and I'm willing to bet he'd even use his experience to help. And to #38 - Good for you, being a self-made man and taking care of yourself. And it is possible that your wife is just being lazy. But I agree with the above - talk to her. Find out if it's depression or laziness. Find out how she sees herself - she may not realize it's gotten that bad. You say you're staying to honor your vows, but just staying may not be enough. You have to work on a marriage, and it seems like you're doing what a lot of men accuse women of - being upset about something but not sharing. Tell her why you don't take her on the motorcyle or on cruises. But please, do it in a nicer way than OP's man did.

The difference between friendship and romance is lust. No one is expected to stay married to someone to whom they are no longer attracted, unless of course the unattractive one has uncontrollable problems that contribute to the weight, or you're like 85 and way past your sexual life anyway. There's a reason why people don't marry people they are just friends with. OP's husband may have been blunt with his wording, but if he put it nicely OP may not have responded at all. Ladies (and this goes for men too, but women seem to do it more), a commitment is not a license to get fat and crazy. To love someone for who they are and not how they look is admirable, but to want to be with someone when they become repulsive and careless is legitimate. If you tell OP to "Dump him, get in shape and bone other people!" ask yourself why the husband (to whom SHE also made a vow, remember!) was not entitled to that effort in the first place?

I agree with #38. When my wife and I was dating, I met her mother who is MORBIDLY obese. I stated and she agreed that if we got married, she would never get overweight or I would divorce her. Well guess what, she is 200 plus pounds again after paying $2000 to a weight loss clinic to help her lose 60lbs. She says that when she has problems she seeks food for comfort....wonder where that came from mom in law? She knows this yet she still wolfs down the food constantly. I am no fitness trainer, I excercise and keep my caloric intake down to try to stay healthy because I couldn't look at myself in the mirror if I was that fat. This is not a struggle, it is a lack of self control and a lack of commitment to the relationship. It is just like cheating, but with food.

You're fat and disobeying your man. YDI.

You married him. There's no way that there weren't warning signs beforehand. You picked an ass, sorry.

I just wonder how some of the men define "fat". When I hear that a size 8 is considered plus sized, I have to choke back a laugh, because a size 8 can encompass a LOT of different body types. And conversely, how would the men react if the FML had been this instead: "Today, my cosmetologist wife told me that if I could not make the commitment to not go bald, she could not make the commitment to stay with me. FML" I suspect a lot of menfolk would have their bananahammocks in a twist. Would the arguments about lust and committment still abound? Would the argument about marriage contracts and attraction be bandied about? Being bald is as much a turn off to some women as being fat is to some men. FYI..baldness and weight gain share a commonality...sometimes its genetic, sometimes its due to a lack of care and effort. Hence the comparison.