Love: Today, my genius boyfriend was trying to remember a particular...

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By Derp-A-Herp - 27/05/2011 05:46 - United States

Today, my genius boyfriend was trying to remember a particular island in the Caribbean that was used by pirates in the past. I offered up Morocco. I heard him facepalm over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 660

You deserved it 55 324

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Same thing different taste

By GAGirl1 - 01/05/2014 21:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to drive to India. Thinking he meant Indiana, I said sure, knowing I have friends there. He said, "Bangladesh, India, here we come!" He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 054

You deserved it 7 230

Geography major

By dating a fucking idiot - 08/09/2012 19:16 - United States

Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 908

You deserved it 13 916

¿Dónde estás?

By Anonymous - 09/03/2015 14:24 - Spain - Zaragoza

Today, an old friend of mine landed in Spain, where he's visiting me. After a few minutes talking about where we should meet, we realized the reason he couldn't figure out where it was, was probably due to the fact that he was in Barcelona. I live in Madrid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 894

You deserved it 4 853

By xXshitface4uXx - 25/07/2014 22:46 - New Zealand - Rotorua

Today, my dad asked me how I would feel about going on an all-expenses-paid, month-long holiday to the Caribbean. I was ecstatic and broke into tears of joy, saying I'd love it. He replied, "Yeah, me too. Shame it ain't happening!" then left for work, laughing his arse off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 854

You deserved it 9 126

By tina - 17/08/2010 12:30 - Canada

Today, I ran into my boyfriend at the mall, the same boyfriend who'd told me he was going on a family vacation to Mexico. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 185

You deserved it 4 103

By sadpoorlady - 22/06/2013 09:22 - United Kingdom - Appley Bridge

Today, my boyfriend used the "this isn't working, we need to talk" line on me. How nice of him to wait this long to do so, just days after we returned from the expensive Caribbean holiday that I paid for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 897

You deserved it 5 013

Culture wars

By FrustratedTutor - 21/08/2015 20:00 - United States - Andover

Today, the kid I was tutoring told me that, "Pirates were a myth. Like the Greeks and Romans." He's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 827

You deserved it 2 832

Kinda true, though

By Ponce de Leon's folly - 08/12/2022 09:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my fiancée informed me she wants us to go on a cruise for her birthday. I replied, "Ahhh cruise ships, the Walmart of the Seven Seas." She threw a mixer at my feet and told me I ruin everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 1 129

I heard that

By Anonymous - 25/04/2011 09:20 - Ireland

Today, I organised a romantic day trip for me and my boyfriend to some tropical gardens. I packed lunch and paid for the tickets. He decided to bring a friend, who doesn't speak English. The only thing that he said that I understood was that, "Your girlfriend eats a lot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 310

You deserved it 4 505

By Grrrawrwtf - 03/06/2012 04:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to break up with me but it had to be after our cruise together because he doesn't want to lose out on money. Can't wait for the Bahamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 954

You deserved it 2 464

kidclarke 15

Friday 27 May 2011 12:00

I'm surprised you didn't say Disneyland.

jennifer93 0

Friday 27 May 2011 12:10

Yeahhh math isnt my best subject either ;p

Comments

JenL_fml 7

Friday 27 May 2011 14:13

I feel another facepalm coming on.

ridder215 7

Friday 27 May 2011 14:21

Texel ofc

mea_iloveskiing 26

Friday 27 May 2011 14:33

at least you didn't say jamaica :)

OhHeySlogan 4

Friday 27 May 2011 14:48

you're both geniuses. don't have kids.

FarmerTylerE 0

Friday 27 May 2011 23:27

Autism FTW!!!

diga992 2

Friday 27 May 2011 14:48

I bet he is just a normal guy, but compared to you he is einstein!!

purplepenguine 0

Friday 27 May 2011 14:52

shoulda said narnia :D

tucansam555 3

Friday 27 May 2011 14:55

ydi for being dumb

GiganticBullet 0

Friday 27 May 2011 14:56

should of said tortoga

jdawg2010 0

Friday 27 May 2011 14:59

derp.

Weetart 8

Friday 27 May 2011 15:17

OP I think he's just going out with you for your looks. Sorry to break it to ya sweetheart. I guess opposites do attract.

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The Top

Today, I travelled across an ocean to visit the guy I'm dating. He lied to me about his apartment; he lives in a dorm with a twin-sized bed and a bathroom he shares with eight guys. Just now, after taking three trains from the airport to his "apt", he asked me to edit his essay while he goes to class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 986

You deserved it 8 592

Today my wife told me she really wanted to have sex, and to wait in bed while she got ready. Turns out get ready means do the dishes, feed the dogs, clean the cat's litter tray, phone her sister, make coffee, shower, and wait for the dryer to dry her pyjamas. By the time she got in bed, I'd fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 1 115

The Top

Today, I found out that my stick figure drawing passed as homework during my doctoral level seminar. I'm paying over two thousand dollars for this course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 282

You deserved it 238

Today, I walked into my husband's office and accidentally interrupted his business call to tell him dinner was ready. Silly me, I didn’t realize his "business call" included Skyping with his topless ex, with his pants down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 530

You deserved it 202

Today, my nephews decided to play with and break the antique hourglass I bought for my mom. It took months to find and cost nearly $500. When I told my sister, she refused to repay me and responded with, "What do you expect, they’re just little boys!" Her "little boys" are 12 and 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 568

You deserved it 197

Today, it's my birthday. I called my mom to thank her for the gift she'd sent. She was surprised and said, "Oh I thought you were waiting to open it." She ended the conversation with, "OK, I'll call you on your birthday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 172

You deserved it 1 371

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 807

You deserved it 356

Today, I passed out in my kitchen and was woken up by my dog. Not because she was worried about me, but because my body was blocking her food dish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 490

You deserved it 2 977