Miscellaneous: Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class....

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 17:23 - United States

Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class. She kept tossing and turning, obvious signs that she was having no luck. Sweetly, I ask her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She says "you can tell me a story about your day, that always puts me to sleep". FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 491

You deserved it 7 969

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Same thing different taste

By Seabiscuit - 06/07/2009 04:03 - United States

Today, I was snuggling in bed with my girlfriend. She was depressed, so I complimented her strong legs, saying they were "like a horse." I spent the next hour and a half trying to stop her crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 491

You deserved it 77 756

By thanks. - 28/01/2017 04:00

Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 966

You deserved it 823

By halza - 30/05/2016 11:03 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, after a long 16 hour shift, I was milliseconds from sleep when my girlfriend said she "wants to talk". I'm now writing this from the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 433

You deserved it 982

No time to lose

By Atma - 02/07/2023 03:00

Today, I spoke to my girlfriend about how we don't spend enough time talking to each other, but she went on to tell me that we'll talk about it tomorrow because she wanted to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 226

By Anonymous - 03/06/2013 20:55 - France - M?rignac

Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 367

You deserved it 5 596

By Lazy - 20/09/2009 12:03 - Australia

Today, I was at work and was trying to cheer up my stressed out manager by chatting. We were on the subject of sleeping in when I told her that I loved to be lazy and sleep in when I could. She looked up and down me and then answered, "I can see that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 763

You deserved it 10 136

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 05:13 - United States

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 429

You deserved it 9 059

Tough love

By Anonymous - 09/08/2020 05:01

Today, I spent over an hour trying to get my niece to sleep and nothing worked. Then my husband got home and yelled, "Listen brat, either sleep now or be buried in the cat's litter box." It worked. She giggled, ran to bed and 30 seconds later she was snoring. What? How? Why? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 751

You deserved it 390

Love is…

By gassygirlfriend - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Nampa

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 370

You deserved it 5 274

By hugedissapointment - 09/08/2009 12:43 - United States

Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 932

You deserved it 63 633

FacePalm69 0

Monday 25 April 2011 22:30

69 hahahahah

ohhboyy 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 23:07

i think people should start a new trend. instead of saying "first" like an asshole, i think they should brag about being the 69th comment =P

Comments

Obama_1 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 19:28

I like her.

maverick21703 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 0:43

You should have told her a story. Something along the lines of: Once upon a time there was a charming, devilishly handsome prince who was dating a girl named (enter her name here). One day she decided to make a lame joke and the prince decided they had, had a good run but it was time for him to find someone new. ;p P.S: say it in a joking tone and make sure she knows you are kidding.

silentfirefly 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 1:01

Joking...? Chill. I wouldn't say this really merits an FML.

emeekins 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 21:37

hahahaa good stuff.

justjayit 0

Friday 3 April 2009 3:58

Well, I often ask my boyfriend to talk about whatever because his voice is soothing. It could've been a compliment.

Exhumed91 0

Friday 3 April 2009 4:40

This wasn't a very funny one...plus she could have been joking, probably was

Truce25 0

Friday 3 April 2009 22:23

what a bitch

yesbutnotyou 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 18:22

don't be offended. maybe you have a boring delivery. maybe you really do have a boring job. or maybe she was kidding. either way, don't get your knickers in a twist.

yanarach 0

Monday 27 April 2009 3:25

hopefully she was joking! I love hearing my boyfriend's stories. They're a rare occasion, cause normally he says he'd rather listen to me, but they're always so interesting!!

Roddsy 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 2:01

lol...? if it wasnt said in a bitchy/mean way then you'r'e fine. some girls say things like that a lot. even guys do it too. i dont really see the problem unless it was bitchy/mean. ;p