Miscellaneous: Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class....

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 17:23 - United States

Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class. She kept tossing and turning, obvious signs that she was having no luck. Sweetly, I ask her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She says "you can tell me a story about your day, that always puts me to sleep". FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 491

You deserved it 7 969

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Same thing different taste

By Seabiscuit - 06/07/2009 04:03 - United States

Today, I was snuggling in bed with my girlfriend. She was depressed, so I complimented her strong legs, saying they were "like a horse." I spent the next hour and a half trying to stop her crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 491

You deserved it 77 756

By thanks. - 28/01/2017 04:00

Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 966

You deserved it 823

By halza - 30/05/2016 11:03 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, after a long 16 hour shift, I was milliseconds from sleep when my girlfriend said she "wants to talk". I'm now writing this from the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 433

You deserved it 982

No time to lose

By Atma - 02/07/2023 03:00

Today, I spoke to my girlfriend about how we don't spend enough time talking to each other, but she went on to tell me that we'll talk about it tomorrow because she wanted to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 226

By Anonymous - 03/06/2013 20:55 - France - M?rignac

Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 367

You deserved it 5 596

By Lazy - 20/09/2009 12:03 - Australia

Today, I was at work and was trying to cheer up my stressed out manager by chatting. We were on the subject of sleeping in when I told her that I loved to be lazy and sleep in when I could. She looked up and down me and then answered, "I can see that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 763

You deserved it 10 136

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 05:13 - United States

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 429

You deserved it 9 059

Tough love

By Anonymous - 09/08/2020 05:01

Today, I spent over an hour trying to get my niece to sleep and nothing worked. Then my husband got home and yelled, "Listen brat, either sleep now or be buried in the cat's litter box." It worked. She giggled, ran to bed and 30 seconds later she was snoring. What? How? Why? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 751

You deserved it 390

Love is…

By gassygirlfriend - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Nampa

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 370

You deserved it 5 274

By hugedissapointment - 09/08/2009 12:43 - United States

Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 932

You deserved it 63 633

FacePalm69 0

Monday 25 April 2011 22:30

69 hahahahah

ohhboyy 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 23:07

i think people should start a new trend. instead of saying "first" like an asshole, i think they should brag about being the 69th comment =P

Comments

ecilart 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 0:13

lol sounds like my roommate

bonare0607 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 0:16

Maybe she just meant that when you tell her about your day, it eases her mind.

MaiLouIsLegend 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 0:18

haahh ouch. Story time :]]

yakslap 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 0:19

what #23 said, the same happends with my boyfriend, if im stressed or cant sleep, i ask him to just talk, doesnt matter about what, because his voice relaxes me. Not a FML. Unless she said it in a rude tone.

ellebell 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 0:22

maybe she just thinks your voice is soothing....

sprene 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 0:23

Haha, I normally put my girlfriend to sleep if I talk about my day for more than a minute or two. If that doesn't work, I talk about some game or math thing. Works like a charm!

Slinky_fml 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 0:26

You know I'm pretty sure she was joking. Its possible she's just a bitch, in which case, dump her I guess, but I say stuff like that to people all the time and I'm always kidding.