Love: Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself...

By DHarman - 25/05/2010 23:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 640

You deserved it 4 070

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Same thing different taste

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 104

You deserved it 3 664

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 071

You deserved it 5 417

By Anonymous - 15/04/2011 00:53 - Canada

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 620

You deserved it 36 078

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 17:26 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 334

You deserved it 5 168

By hero to zero - 04/07/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 133

You deserved it 15 186

Get out

By Anonymous - 15/07/2022 00:00

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating, so she smashed me in the head with her handbag so hard my eyeball is red from a burst blood vessel. I followed her home, where she tried to pretend she knew nothing, it wasn’t her I'd seen, she’d been home all day. I had to get the cops to drag her out my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 160

By bad day Brutus - 29/04/2013 05:26 - United States

Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 056

You deserved it 64 685

By anonymous - 09/10/2011 01:20 - Australia

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 272

You deserved it 27 588

By ThatHurts - 14/11/2011 00:11 - Canada

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 300

You deserved it 34 574

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 374

You deserved it 22 631

Mirorbo 26

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:06

I would feel sorry for the poor dear if she didn't make such a shallow excuse.

Mikeymikey 4

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:07

well there's only one thing left to do!!! Give her another black eye 0_o

Comments

canitbe 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:22

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

jsimms895 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:25

wtf she tryin to get u arrested?!

lickmyjock 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 10:04

I know seriously that shit ain't funny. just imagine what her dads thinking right now.

summersizzle 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:27

hahahahahah # 1 win! I <3 jersey shore fist pumping like champs! ;)

Vargman 5

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:27

Double jeopardy ?? She already blamed you so you might as well hit her :p But seriously: make it ex-girlfriend from now on.

jsimms895 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:27

btw thats 2-5 mofucka lol

dphilipson12 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 18:43

hahaha. wow I'd seriously leave her ass

the_boob 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:28

I hope she's your ex-gf now, what a ****.

SlyFYL 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:30

Or maybe you actually beat her and want people to believe she did it herself

FYLDeep 25

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:34

"Yeah, that was me, but it's okay... I have better control of my dick now. It won't happen again."

willgraham101 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:36

lol win. this thread is now only made of 60 % fail and 30 % win with 10% awsomeness from me

Peacemaker9 7

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:37

lol win!!!

willgraham101 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:41

thats what i said, now u have to give me royalties

Peacemaker9 7

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:43

u beat me by like 2 secs!!! so no!!!

willgraham101 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:43

did i just hear you say " i pull a justin beiber all the time?"

jade567 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 10:17

lmfao that was freaking hilarious!!!! xD it's his payback for being a crappy singer!!! FAFP!!

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

The Top

Today, I got dressed, did my hair, carefully applied my makeup, sprayed myself with perfume, grabbed my bag and put on my coat. I got to the door, and then realised that I had nowhere to go, nothing to do and none of my friends were answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 537

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 054

You deserved it 8 438

The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd feel like a failure if he went to community college. I'm planning to go to community college next year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 366

You deserved it 4 989

Today, a soccer ball hit my car while I was going 75 mph on the freeway during my drive home. I still don't know how to explain it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 500

You deserved it 120

Today, on my way back to work after lunch, my airbags deployed at a stop sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 895

You deserved it 1 678

Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 076

You deserved it 64 024

Today, I'm an executive at a startup game studio, making only $18,000 a year after 3 years of helping build the company. I was promised a raise once we secured our Seed B funding. So, after our investors backed us for $4.5 million recently, I followed up with the CEO about this. He responded by sending me a troll face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 381

You deserved it 125

Today, I found out my mom booked me a flight to stay with relatives who I don't like, and who don't like me. I leave in two days, and don't return until the day before school starts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 780

You deserved it 152

Same thing different taste

Get out

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