Love and Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised...

By shmarf - 20/06/2015 06:00 - United States - Belton

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 882

You deserved it 19 654

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 168

You deserved it 5 574

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 683

You deserved it 9 523

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 929

You deserved it 6 676

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 442

You deserved it 771

By Rumpkis - 05/12/2011 01:30 - United States

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 977

You deserved it 18 674

Practice makes perfect

By Anonymous - 03/08/2024 13:00

Today, my girlfriend decided to try swallowing instead of spitting. Now this was entirely her own idea, I never asked her to try, and yet when she gagged, vomited, and sneezed so it all came dribbling out of her nose, somehow it was all my fault because I’m "disgusting." I love you too, Sweetie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 152

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 235

You deserved it 406

By nicknack22 - 01/02/2009 15:48 - United States

Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 739

You deserved it 5 946

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 625

You deserved it 1 194

By Anonymous - 05/03/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 146

You deserved it 5 571

Cyker 6

Saturday 20 June 2015 9:29

Well that's a mouthful.

sohigh10 34

Saturday 20 June 2015 9:29

Hell of a first experience:|

Comments

shaenasinclair 19

Saturday 20 June 2015 12:13

That is wrong on so many levels omg

ham_spam 17

Saturday 20 June 2015 12:40

Do u kiss ur mother with that mouth?

oliv34 11

Sunday 21 June 2015 6:34

haha!! nice...nice...

Dexter83_fml 17

Saturday 20 June 2015 12:52

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Psycho_Babydoll 26

Saturday 20 June 2015 13:03

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oliv34 11

Sunday 21 June 2015 6:35

so youre ok with having some man milk once in a while? its cool if you do

jables38 11

Saturday 20 June 2015 13:05

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_OF_WG_KTA_ 15

Saturday 20 June 2015 13:07

Did it taste good?

doumtabarnack 12

Saturday 20 June 2015 13:07

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oliv34 11

Sunday 21 June 2015 6:36

no wonder you are still single :O :)

NonoMeow 18

Saturday 20 June 2015 13:12

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confused_wandere 26

Saturday 20 June 2015 13:37

She chose to give him the BJ and she chose to do what she did! Are you saying that she is a mindless robot that only does what her boyfriend tells her? No! So get a damn grip for goodness sake!

leogachi 15

Saturday 20 June 2015 19:27

@80 Why do you always flip out over the smallest things? Take your own advice and get a grip. NOBODY was implying that the girlfriend is a mindless drone, and I really don't understand how you came to that conclusion.

ILikeKoalas 24

Saturday 20 June 2015 13:30

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confused_wandere 26

Saturday 20 June 2015 13:55

It was her choice! She's not a mindless puppet! Stop blaming men for every single damn thing! Get a grip!

ILikeKoalas 24

Saturday 20 June 2015 16:30

Sure, but I'd still expect some consideration on the guys part. It really is revolting, and I'm surprised she could even hold it in her mouth.

jforren 14

Saturday 20 June 2015 17:13

The fact of the matter is that they didn't discuss it. Their needs to be communication during intimate moments like that. What OP's partner did wasn't okay.

JokerJ312 23

Saturday 20 June 2015 17:26

He didn't say he wanted her to, he even said he was surprised when she did, or so he thought, so I don't think he deserved it at all. Also while a lot of girls find it revolting there's girls that enjoy swallowing so she might be one of them and just wanted to mess with him.