Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her...

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By nobrony - 02/07/2012 19:53 - United States - Katonah

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 951

You deserved it 5 497

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Same thing different taste

Rule 34

By Anonymous - 02/09/2015 15:26 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 579

You deserved it 5 208

Lost in translation

By Anonymous - 20/06/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend got a sexy new tattoo as a surprise for me. It’s on her boob in Japanese, next to a pair of sexy lips, and she claims it says "Oral Queen." I'm fluent in Japanese so I wish she'd asked for my help first, because it actually translates to "Mouth Ruler" which is not sexy at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 241

By DAMMit - 27/07/2009 08:12 - Australia

Today, I decided I was going to dump my needy girlfriend. I was about to break the news when she stopped me. She showed me her new tattoo she had gotten. Our names, surrounded by a love heart spread across her back. She reckons I should get a matching one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 606

You deserved it 8 502

By lovebigmacs - 06/10/2009 23:32 - United States

Today, I showed my boyfriend the new tattoo of a butterfly that I'd gotten on my lower back. He said, "It looks like it's flying when your rolls jiggle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 147

You deserved it 41 990

Tasteful

By Anonymous - 06/03/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom - Greenwich

Today, my girlfriend got a new tattoo - the Blink-182 logo on her stomach. I wouldn't mind it, except she got pregnant a month ago and I'm pretty sure that it can't good for the baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 288

Inked

By Kat - 31/08/2012 01:08 - United States - Tiverton

Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 594

You deserved it 5 919

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 04:19 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for the tattoo artist who gave us our matching "love" tattoos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 390

You deserved it 9 765

By loldick - 15/11/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 939

You deserved it 23 816

I think it's cool

By Elizabeth Ann - 21/09/2018 14:00

Today, after months of planning, I finally got my first tattoo: my cat's paw print. I love it so I showed my friends pictures. One said it looks like poop and the other said it looks like I have a disease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 499

You deserved it 1 048

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 10:48 - Canada

Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 615

You deserved it 71 912

clarissasyima 7

Tuesday 3 July 2012 2:38

Now you can taste the rainbow ;)

bebefer 8

Tuesday 3 July 2012 2:38

I bet that makes you feel like a pedophile.

Comments

marramrammar 2

Tuesday 3 July 2012 17:25

Or you could be that little Leprechaun getting pot of gold- LOL

TG_Wolf 1

Tuesday 3 July 2012 17:28

That is epic in so many ways..

ILoveFluttershy 3

Tuesday 3 July 2012 17:58

It's people like her that make us look bad.

tinysocks 11

Tuesday 3 July 2012 18:26

A lot of thought went into that tattoo didn't it...

Uberbabies 0

Tuesday 3 July 2012 18:32

How is that bad at all? That'd be amazing!

CarouselHeart 11

Tuesday 3 July 2012 18:35

Dude, there are plenty of people who wouldn't be bothered by that at all. And Ponies don't shit rainbows. Wtf?

nevershoutkendal_fml 10

Tuesday 3 July 2012 18:52

27- You can't use two superlatives in the same sentence. It's "most stupid" or just "stupidest".

seriouslypony 9

Tuesday 3 July 2012 19:08

Sex is now 20% cooler.

erinchick1 7

Tuesday 3 July 2012 19:21

Lucky you! :)

Bluepies 24

Tuesday 3 July 2012 19:39

I bet she comes in ten seconds flat.

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 803

You deserved it 9 267

Today, I noticed my sister's dog was very sick. One trip to the vet's later, the dog was diagnosed with gut problems caused by bad diet, and a life expectancy of about 3 months. I confronted my sister, who admitted she had the dog on the same vegan diet as her, to “save the planet.” Selfish hippie cow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 602

You deserved it 116

The Top

Today, my sink seemed to be filling up with dirty water. Concerned, I turned on the garbage disposal and plunged away. With no change in the water levels, I called a plumber. He reached in, pulled out the drain plug, and give me his bill while chuckling to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 094

You deserved it 45 203

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 2 102

Today, I was supposed to present a speech on diabetes. The girl who went first chose the same subject, knowing I'm diabetic and that it was my topic. I went last, so I had to change half of my speech on the spot. I sounded ignorant about my own illness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 056

You deserved it 6 531

Today, after I dated a girl for 4 years and she'd left me for another man, she came back about a week later bawling on my bathroom floor. I comforted and held her, thinking she may have realized she'd made a mistake, only for her to say how much she loved him the whole time. I hate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 382

Today, I had to take out the grease traps from our fryers. A very rude co-worker cut me off, so I had to abruptly stop and try to prevent as much spilling as possible. Luckily, it only spilled on me. I'm here for six more hours with burned, smelly, greasy spots all over my skin and clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 621

You deserved it 340

Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 203