Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her...

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By nobrony - 02/07/2012 19:53 - United States - Katonah

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 952

You deserved it 5 497

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Same thing different taste

Rule 34

By Anonymous - 02/09/2015 15:26 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 580

You deserved it 5 209

Lost in translation

By Anonymous - 20/06/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend got a sexy new tattoo as a surprise for me. It’s on her boob in Japanese, next to a pair of sexy lips, and she claims it says "Oral Queen." I'm fluent in Japanese so I wish she'd asked for my help first, because it actually translates to "Mouth Ruler" which is not sexy at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 241

By DAMMit - 27/07/2009 08:12 - Australia

Today, I decided I was going to dump my needy girlfriend. I was about to break the news when she stopped me. She showed me her new tattoo she had gotten. Our names, surrounded by a love heart spread across her back. She reckons I should get a matching one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 606

You deserved it 8 502

By lovebigmacs - 06/10/2009 23:32 - United States

Today, I showed my boyfriend the new tattoo of a butterfly that I'd gotten on my lower back. He said, "It looks like it's flying when your rolls jiggle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 148

You deserved it 41 991

Tasteful

By Anonymous - 06/03/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom - Greenwich

Today, my girlfriend got a new tattoo - the Blink-182 logo on her stomach. I wouldn't mind it, except she got pregnant a month ago and I'm pretty sure that it can't good for the baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 289

Inked

By Kat - 31/08/2012 01:08 - United States - Tiverton

Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 595

You deserved it 5 919

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 04:19 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for the tattoo artist who gave us our matching "love" tattoos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 392

You deserved it 9 765

By loldick - 15/11/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 939

You deserved it 23 818

I think it's cool

By Elizabeth Ann - 21/09/2018 14:00

Today, after months of planning, I finally got my first tattoo: my cat's paw print. I love it so I showed my friends pictures. One said it looks like poop and the other said it looks like I have a disease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 499

You deserved it 1 048

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 10:48 - Canada

Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 615

You deserved it 71 913

clarissasyima 7

Tuesday 3 July 2012 2:38

Now you can taste the rainbow ;)

bebefer 8

Tuesday 3 July 2012 2:38

I bet that makes you feel like a pedophile.

Comments

marramrammar 2

Tuesday 3 July 2012 17:25

Or you could be that little Leprechaun getting pot of gold- LOL

TG_Wolf 1

Tuesday 3 July 2012 17:28

That is epic in so many ways..

ILoveFluttershy 3

Tuesday 3 July 2012 17:58

It's people like her that make us look bad.

tinysocks 11

Tuesday 3 July 2012 18:26

A lot of thought went into that tattoo didn't it...

Uberbabies 0

Tuesday 3 July 2012 18:32

How is that bad at all? That'd be amazing!

CarouselHeart 11

Tuesday 3 July 2012 18:35

Dude, there are plenty of people who wouldn't be bothered by that at all. And Ponies don't shit rainbows. Wtf?

nevershoutkendal_fml 10

Tuesday 3 July 2012 18:52

27- You can't use two superlatives in the same sentence. It's "most stupid" or just "stupidest".

seriouslypony 9

Tuesday 3 July 2012 19:08

Sex is now 20% cooler.

erinchick1 7

Tuesday 3 July 2012 19:21

Lucky you! :)

Bluepies 24

Tuesday 3 July 2012 19:39

I bet she comes in ten seconds flat.

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The Top

Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year-old boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 320

You deserved it 7 998

Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 077

You deserved it 267

The Top

Today, while at work I went to use the public restroom because I had a severe case of diarrhea. All went well until the timed sensor lights went off and I couldn't leave my stall to get them back on. I sat there for thirty minutes in pure darkness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 732

You deserved it 3 940

Today, I was standing on a desk at work to run wiring in a suspended ceiling, since we have no ladder. My phone rang, I rushed to answer it, tripping and smashing my leg. It was my boss, calling to tell me he was bringing over a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 346

You deserved it 4 334

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs while delivering a pizza, and severely sprained my ankle. The guy looked at me lying there, and shut the door in my face. I then got told to "Suck it up, Princess" by my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 192

You deserved it 3 477

Even if you cut a few branches...

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 145

Today, my girlfriend, who I've been living with for the last month, told me she's not attracted to me and wants to see other people. She told me this after months of dating and telling me she was thinking about having a child with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 038

You deserved it 96

Today, I got to explain to my co-worker again why I can't move my "vacation" so she can take hers when she wants. Apparently, in her mind, her seniority at the company trumps my due date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 827

You deserved it 2 979