Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with...

By kneesarethenewdesk - 19/08/2009 22:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with the intention of having sex on it. A new, £250 computer desk, broken beyond repair. And we didn't even have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 330

You deserved it 7 692

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Same thing different taste

Seventh heaven

By Egyptian ToyBoy - 17/12/2019 20:00

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She had such an uncontrollable, aggressive orgasm that I'd be celebrating my efforts, if only in the process she hadn't knocked over my new expensive laptop, which then split in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 875

You deserved it 470

By Anonymous - 13/12/2009 08:39 - United States

Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 961

You deserved it 25 332

By burb - 25/09/2013 19:23 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 026

You deserved it 3 903

By Crawling - 25/10/2008 16:56

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 051

You deserved it 10 261

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 13:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 113

You deserved it 14 009

By picaboo - 10/08/2009 16:41 - Singapore

Today, I bought a new computer. I gave my old one to my mother. After handing it over and going home, I realised I forgot to change the background picture, a naked photo of my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 084

You deserved it 68 408

By Anon - 05/12/2009 14:19 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try cybersex, because we rarely see each other these days. We only used text. Halfway through, I noticed that she started being more demanding. As it turns out, my girlfriend had left the room and her older brother had walked in and taken over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 234

You deserved it 17 256

Hello everyone!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 08:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 084

You deserved it 373

Haters Gonna Hate

By apparentlyweird - 28/08/2018 22:00

Today, my dad's new girlfriend's daughter came over with them. She had a tantrum because my brand new computer, which I worked and saved for, was better than her notebook, which was bought for her. So what did she do? Oh, she threw it off my desk. For some reason I'm being yelled at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 034

You deserved it 240

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 19:01 - Netherlands - Herkenbosch

Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 476

You deserved it 6 678

marinja 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 1:27

apparenly your computer desk isn't the only thing that's 250 pounds...

xiambam 4

Thursday 20 August 2009 1:11

Eh, at least she had good intentions. : lol

Comments

lifesabeach1213 7

Friday 21 August 2009 0:51

That's whatcha get for datin' a cow.

moss_fml 2

Friday 21 August 2009 5:21

你活该这么好玩吗，为什么好多人说

Cloverfx 0

Saturday 22 August 2009 1:11

She must bs HUGEEEEE

GossipGirl_xoxo_fml 0

Sunday 23 August 2009 22:47

It's probably the last time you will have ever seen seen someone naked. In less you get lucky of course, which I'm doubting. Until then, Xoxo - Gossip Girl

metalcrash 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 4:40

America isn't a nation idiot, it's a continent. FAIL

metalcrash 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 4:43

America isn't a nation, it's a continent

Fuckers 0

Monday 24 August 2009 12:46

get her to go on all fours and put your computer and monitor on her back. ashtray goes on her buttocks.

lilmen10 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 11:26

what crashed first? your dreams of not being a virgen anymore , or your tower?

HRaeH 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 9:43

You have 3 options: 1.) Man up: you should've just boned her on top of the broken desk to assert your dominance. 2.) Date a thinner woman. 3.) Date a smarter woman.

CFR 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 18:24

Assert his dominance eh? I laughed when I read that. What the **** does male dominance have to do with an adventurous girlfriend who wanted to have sex on a desk that unfortunately broke? Oh wait, I forgot, she should have been in the kitchen. *rolls eyes*

Emma_91 0

Friday 4 September 2009 23:42

#203 Don't worry. #200 is just pissed cuz he can't get any girl. ^_^

Ludaman44 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 7:36

I woulda boned her to get rid of the computer desk stress....

xFazedFX 0

Monday 31 August 2009 11:32

YDI for having a computer. Amish all the way... Oh wait.

Almightynikita 0

Friday 9 October 2009 0:24

#78 Yes they are. I rejected one. Then she sent me a bunch of messages, rejected her. On the same number she starts posting stuff about being a secret lover and try guess who this is =/