Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with... - FML

By kneesarethenewdesk - 19/08/2009 22:38 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with the intention of having sex on it. A new, £250 computer desk, broken beyond repair. And we didn't even have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 330

You deserved it 7 692

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

Seventh heaven

By Egyptian ToyBoy - 17/12/2019 20:00

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She had such an uncontrollable, aggressive orgasm that I'd be celebrating my efforts, if only in the process she hadn't knocked over my new expensive laptop, which then split in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 875

You deserved it 470

By Anonymous - 13/12/2009 08:39 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 961

You deserved it 25 332

By burb - 25/09/2013 19:23 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 026

You deserved it 3 903

By Crawling - 25/10/2008 16:56

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 051

You deserved it 10 261

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 13:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 113

You deserved it 14 009

By picaboo - 10/08/2009 16:41 - Singapore

Spicy

Today, I bought a new computer. I gave my old one to my mother. After handing it over and going home, I realised I forgot to change the background picture, a naked photo of my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 084

You deserved it 68 408

By Anon - 05/12/2009 14:19 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try cybersex, because we rarely see each other these days. We only used text. Halfway through, I noticed that she started being more demanding. As it turns out, my girlfriend had left the room and her older brother had walked in and taken over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 234

You deserved it 17 256

Hello everyone!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 08:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 084

You deserved it 373

Haters Gonna Hate

By apparentlyweird - 28/08/2018 22:00

Today, my dad's new girlfriend's daughter came over with them. She had a tantrum because my brand new computer, which I worked and saved for, was better than her notebook, which was bought for her. So what did she do? Oh, she threw it off my desk. For some reason I'm being yelled at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 034

You deserved it 240

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 19:01 - Netherlands - Herkenbosch

Spicy

Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 476

You deserved it 6 678

Next

Top comments

marinja 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 1:27

apparenly your computer desk isn't the only thing that's 250 pounds...

xiambam 4

Thursday 20 August 2009 1:11

Eh, at least she had good intentions. : lol

Comments

emilyandenvy 0

Monday 11 January 2010 1:26

YDI for getting a shitty desk that breaks just like that

hapylordofdeath9 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 2:37

bitches man, bitches

antonioohama 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 7:40

In the future, convert everything to American dollars. The Internet started in America, so it makes sense that a lot of people on the Internet are in America.

jammy137 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 22:41

The internet itself was created in America, but the world wide web was created by CERN a european organisation

_OHNOES 0

Tuesday 24 August 2010 1:13

sell her naked for a new computer

Dmb15freeweezy 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 15:00

your dumb for having a fat gf. lol

simoneog09 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 5:20

welllll your girlfriend was quite determined, eh?

questionita11 0

Friday 29 October 2010 22:25

must have been a big chick

maialuvstdi 0

Sunday 12 December 2010 9:30

weakk

BossHog 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 0:29

learn how to use commas

MegamiKaosu 28

Monday 16 May 2011 10:39

omg... No matter how sexy I look if I did that to my bf's $10,000.00 baby.... -shudders- I don't even wanna know....

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The Top

Today, nine weeks after giving birth, my husband and I finally tried to have sex since a friend was watching the baby. Not only could I not get wet due to hormones, but as soon as he got back from buying lube, his drunk brother called needing a ride from the bar. No sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 207

You deserved it 324

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 532

You deserved it 10 056

The Top

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I'm now afraid to argue with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 480

You deserved it 3 445

Today, some guy I’ve been talking to showed up at my house while I was on video call with my boyfriend. I had to confess to a stupid situation I had no business being in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 1 709

Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 516

You deserved it 4 064

Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 431

You deserved it 21 172

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 323

You deserved it 10 512

Today, I went to the doctor about my bruised runners toes. She was inexperienced when It came to athletic injuries, so she googled my condition. I just paid to have her tell me exactly what I had already just googled before I left for my appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 166

You deserved it 4 789