Love: Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her,... - FML

By Anonymous - 01/08/2013 07:36 - United States - Goodyear

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 428

You deserved it 6 394

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Same thing different taste

By well i'm fucked - 03/02/2014 22:47 - United States - Aberdeen

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 180

You deserved it 6 854

By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 11:28 - United States - Manhattan Beach

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 983

You deserved it 2 119

By mike - 07/02/2010 07:16 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she'd carved her old boyfriend's name in her arm, and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 533

You deserved it 4 120

Extreme response

By poordude - 03/04/2021 05:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that our relationship and economic situation is stressing her out so much that she’d rather end her life or marry a rich dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 143

By great - 28/02/2015 16:23 - United States - Porter

Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 110

You deserved it 3 372

Awks

By hungryman - 14/07/2009 21:10 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 659

You deserved it 9 108

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 10:16 - India

Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 339

You deserved it 3 454

By cheezmaster - 16/12/2009 23:55 - United States

Today, after many, many attempts to get her out of my life, the girl that is stalking me told me that she loves me and our love can only be ended by her killing either herself or me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 837

You deserved it 2 578

By Anonymous - 24/09/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said, "I'd die without you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 800

You deserved it 13 648

By thanksbabe - 12/01/2013 06:32 - United States

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 102

You deserved it 8 575

Next

Top comments

superman21_fml 19

Thursday 1 August 2013 19:04

Call her bluff.

Bhall12302 7

Thursday 1 August 2013 19:09

Who else hates it when you accidentally hit the "you deserve it" button

Comments

xian_t 4

Thursday 1 August 2013 19:27

Will it be an open casket funeral?

Miss_Klutzie 28

Thursday 1 August 2013 19:27

Dude...Get out of there. I would call the police saying she threatened suicide, then...I would get the hell out of there ._.

Kabis 2

Thursday 1 August 2013 19:30

dump her, if she wants to kill herself, she will, but that is just enterirely her choice, not influenced by you or your actions.

NocturnalCro 14

Thursday 1 August 2013 19:32

Sweet. When she dies that's one less psycho in the world.

generalasskicker 12

Thursday 1 August 2013 19:32

Tell her to go for it

KinkyCurly 13

Thursday 1 August 2013 19:33

I double agree to the agreeing.

perdix 29

Thursday 1 August 2013 19:33

Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials! Get married, quit your job and make her support you as you lay around doing nothing but eating Cheetos and watching QVC. Eventually, she'll throw your ass out, but at least you won't have a suicide on your head.

ShakeDisPlace 10

Thursday 1 August 2013 19:35

This sounds like one of those FML videos.

etishuman22 32

Thursday 1 August 2013 19:40

Sounds like it will make it into one of the FML videos.

Rodville 28

Thursday 1 August 2013 19:39

Call the psych ward and make a run for it.

kayteakay 26

Thursday 1 August 2013 19:39

RUN! Change your number, move, get a new job, wear a disguise; she sounds CRAZY.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, thanks to that stupid ass blue dog, our kids haven’t stopped hounding me about when their dad and I are getting married. They’re too young to understand, so I try to gently change the subject. That worked for about 5 minutes before they were right back to asking. Holy uncomfortable subject Batman! FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 727

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 666

You deserved it 3 982

The Top

Today, my roommate did his laundry. Unfortunately, he didn't check his pockets before he washed them. There's now sticky, melted gum all over the washer and I'm left to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 904

You deserved it 2 303

Today, I went to the drive-through and ordered 5 cheeseburgers. I told the cashier that some of them were for my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend, and I ate all of them by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 367

You deserved it 54 313

Today, I had to take a test that's required to pass the class. The test administor told us that those of us who were wearing hoodies would have to take them off. I would have taken mine off, but I was only wearing a bra underneath. There's no other days I can reschedule the test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 012

You deserved it 14 459

Today, the smoke detector in my bedroom malfunctioned and started going off while my cat was asleep on my shoulder. He panicked and deeply lacerated my nose with his claw as he ran off. Blood got everywhere, and to add insult to injury the unit has no removable battery and wouldn't turn off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 686

You deserved it 758

Today, a bird ran into my window. My overzealous cat ran at it like the Flash and smashed his face in the window. He yelped and ran away, then as I was running to see if he was OK, I slammed my face in the door jamb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 271

Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 397

You deserved it 7 589