Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend told me there was good news and bad news....

By Anonymous - 07/01/2012 00:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me there was good news and bad news. Bad news: she's pregnant. Good news: I'm probably not the father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 392

You deserved it 4 404

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Same thing different taste

By captainuniverse - 14/05/2016 05:53 - United States - Nashville

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 100

You deserved it 1 286

By Crash44 - 08/07/2019 02:03

Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 020

You deserved it 254

By Tweety - 09/04/2011 11:40 - United States

Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 893

You deserved it 8 514

By baron - 01/06/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 677

You deserved it 7 573

Double Impact

By Zoogangcapk - 01/01/2020 05:00

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is pregnant. The problem is that I don't know how to tell my wife... Who is also pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 10 185

By DumbFace714 - 14/02/2015 01:43 - United States - Santa Ana

Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 879

You deserved it 2 820

By Anonymous - 10/01/2016 02:17 - United States - Akron

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 800

You deserved it 79 044

Planned parenthood

By KittenTitz - 03/05/2020 20:00

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 778

You deserved it 642

Rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 05/03/2010 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 715

You deserved it 3 659

By Toooldforthisshit - 09/12/2018 11:30 - United States - New London

Today, I found out the girl my boyfriend was seeing just before me is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 079

You deserved it 262

bobbycorwen 5

Saturday 7 January 2012 7:43

That's great news for in the long run! For now, no. I am sorry she's a cheating *****. :(

kjcamaro3 5

Saturday 7 January 2012 7:42

No diaper changing for you...more good news!!!

Comments

askingzack 1

Saturday 7 January 2012 18:33

HA!

iselahh 2

Saturday 7 January 2012 18:50

Wouldn't it be the opposite

rubyliu8420 7

Saturday 7 January 2012 18:55

The sad thing is she probably believes that's good news.

CrazyCountryGirl 5

Saturday 7 January 2012 18:58

that is when you say YAY! and get the Hell out while you still can!

JonnaBear 0

Saturday 7 January 2012 19:02

Wow she a ***** I'm sorry but she is if she cheated on u

OfficeNinja 5

Saturday 7 January 2012 19:03

Probably not. That is not as firm as "defiantly not". Your not out of the woods yet.

skyeyez9 24

Saturday 7 January 2012 19:04

I hope she didn't ask if you two could still be bf and gf?

diamond69_fml 14

Saturday 7 January 2012 19:09

Now that's funny shit. Sorry OP FYL.

Egao_fml 8

Saturday 7 January 2012 19:19

1-866-99-MAURY

lkrunner101 7

Saturday 7 January 2012 19:30

Lucky bastard

Keywords

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 3 939

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 350

You deserved it 8 250

The Top

Today, I found out the joke I’ve been telling for 15 years is true. I am adopted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 345

You deserved it 376

Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 234

You deserved it 2 839

Today, I dropped my handbag into a water-filled gutter. As I was hurriedly fishing out the contents of my bag, I looked up. There was my ex, with the girl he left me for walking past, timed exactly to coincide with me manically scooping up one of many rapidly absorbing tampons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 559

You deserved it 2 264

Today, my girlfriend suggested that she needs a "cuddle buddy" because I'm never home to spend with her. I have to work two jobs to pay the bills because she keeps calling in "sick" from her job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 175

Today, I offered to give my ex a ride home from work. He and I ended on good terms years ago, we just aren't compatible with each other. I dropped him off and not ten seconds later, he came back out looking sick. His fiancee was inside having sex with MY new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 018

You deserved it 177

Today, while I was telling my therapist all of my inner conflicts, he fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 116

Same thing different taste

Double Impact

Planned parenthood

Rollercoaster

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