Love: Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes...

By NinjaPanda88 - 01/08/2009 07:44 - United States

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 896

You deserved it 16 893

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 113

You deserved it 10 955

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 08:33 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's her ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 194

You deserved it 3 536

By Gonzales - 07/08/2015 19:47 - Belgium - Leuven

Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales. I asked why she wanted to name it that, and she said, "Because he's Speedy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 761

You deserved it 5 672

By off to the whorehouse, then - 31/03/2014 21:03 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 926

You deserved it 7 811

By stun_zeed - 17/01/2017 10:00

Today, my girlfriend called my flaccid penis her "little squishy" in a voice like Dory, and became upset when I got aroused because little squishy was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 148

You deserved it 1 277

By Tickdick - 24/03/2017 21:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I got out of the shower and noticed a tiny leaf on my penis. With legs. Squirming. I have a new nickname. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 321

You deserved it 559

Size Queen

By Anonymous - 11/11/2019 05:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she took the shower head and started spraying my penis with it. I asked her, "What are you doing?" Her response, "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 261

You deserved it 14 872

By spermbankonlegs - 16/03/2012 02:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 632

You deserved it 4 871

Call me by my name

By Tim Scotten - 18/05/2021 06:01

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Her new nickname for me is "Mr. Breakfast Sausage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 245

By ADT - 09/02/2009 02:14 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 603

You deserved it 3 843

Tippssy 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 16:32

Pokedex Entry: Squirtle Type: Water Height: 6.5 inches Moveset: Harden, Pound, Withdraw, String Shot

Darkon 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 16:07

That is awesome!

Comments

zombigurl 8

Friday 7 October 2011 17:58

HAHA I like that 1!

Awesomesau5 0

Wednesday 23 November 2011 5:34

Bet your gf hasn't met blastoise yet....

Crizack101 0

Saturday 10 December 2011 10:49

Your girlfriend is very cool!

Cklixus 1

Tuesday 20 December 2011 12:16

Blastoise wouldve been ok.. But squirtle?? Dammn..

urmomshouse 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 1:45

Hi squirtle

niswisk 3

Tuesday 7 February 2012 1:01

Squirtle kicks ass dude aint nothin wrong with that. Me AND my bf named his yoshi off super mario

janexxdoe 7

Wednesday 22 February 2012 19:15

My boyfriend's is caterpie!

trpfml 4

Tuesday 1 May 2012 9:49

Squirtale evolves into blastoise, I'd be proud son

theangelfromhell 6

Saturday 5 May 2012 8:22

Hehe sounds like something i would do :) but i think my boyfriend would laugh it off :) cute name :)

magicman34 1

Monday 21 May 2012 8:03

Skeet skeet skeet. Water gun

Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 118

Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 973

You deserved it 2 303

The Top

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 843

You deserved it 17 114

Today, I visited a friend out of state. We've been flirting for months and decided to fool around at night. He was very loving and attentive, but... he'd bragged about his dick being 6 inches and it ended up being not only thin, but very short. So thin and short that I couldn't really feel it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 521

You deserved it 378

Today, my husband finally got round to cutting down a tree limb in our front yard after months of me begging him. It fell on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 347

You deserved it 15 865

Today, I was driving 65 on a fairly deserted highway when some speeding inbred in a giant truck chose not to use the open passing lane but instead SWERVED INTO THE SHOULDER to go around me, and then cut me off. Any closer and I would've been a smear on the asphalt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 122

Today, my brother saw my side when my shirt came up, and asked when I got a tattoo; the pink he saw was in fact my stretch marks. Worst of all, I had to show them to everyone to prove I didn't actually get a tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 705

You deserved it 3 058

Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left a sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 089

You deserved it 4 994

Same thing different taste

Size Queen

Call me by my name

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