Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party.... - FML

By needsnewshorts - 16/07/2013 01:42 - United States - San Clemente

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 509

You deserved it 23 661

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Same thing different taste

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 420

You deserved it 761

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 557

You deserved it 1 617

Protip

By Herman - 13/02/2023 06:00 - United States - Bedford

Spicy

Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 093

You deserved it 472

By ass slap - 11/08/2013 15:35 - United States - Broomall

Spicy

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 226

You deserved it 24 828

By USSEYL - 26/11/2008 04:43 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 090

You deserved it 27 484

Love is…

By gassygirlfriend - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Nampa

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 370

You deserved it 5 275

By john - 28/01/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 838

You deserved it 5 155

By Mr Eek - 25/10/2008 16:57

Spicy

Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 577

You deserved it 12 446

Let it all out

By pottypattypeepants - 31/12/2009 20:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 682

You deserved it 19 646

Don't answer

By Anonymous - 10/11/2014 14:28 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 605

You deserved it 5 816

Next

Top comments

dawnimus 21

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:20

Farting turns you on? Wow, that's a very specific fetish...

hotshot0185 15

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:20

You'll last longer in time.

Comments

HeyHeyFishFillet 34

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:27

I can only assume that from now on the smell of farts gets you rock-hard.

johnson1995 4

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:48

haha that ***** nastyy!

norotors 16

Wednesday 17 July 2013 0:51

Classical conditioning. Psychology!

sunflowerchild 10

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:27

Nothing sexier than a fart job

sillyrosster 11

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:31

That is weird. Don't think that would happen to me, but you never know until it happens :p

dRUMsKELETON 12

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:32

That's a particularly embarrassing moment to realize your secret fetish. Hopefully you were somewhat discreet in your climax so no one noticed at least!

Obey_StudBoii 23

Tuesday 16 July 2013 17:12

By the looks of his username, it doesn't sound discreet.

BlissfulLiss 18

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:33

If there was a smell, too bad it didn't come simultaneously with the fart. Then maybe you could have held out...unless you're into that.

davincidasecond 24

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:34

Damn, it would really suck if she were to fart right as you were about to enter into her ...

Joe9024 20

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:38

Next she'll be taking a dump on your chest right??

nightfire2258 24

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:38

Anyone else think of the song "**** In My Pants" by The Lonely Island?

KinkyCurly 13

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:42

Had you maybe not had sex in a long time???... I hope that was what it was...

Psycho_Babydoll 26

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:43

This is far too funny.

twinkletoes747 16

Tuesday 16 July 2013 13:26

Don't you mean far toot funny?

illegalbeagle69 23

Tuesday 16 July 2013 16:18

or fart oo funny.. maybe.

davincidasecond 24

Tuesday 16 July 2013 18:30

Nah ... Doesn't seem to work.

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The Top

Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year-old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year-old woman, to tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 697

You deserved it 8 588

Today, I was finishing a conversation with my husband. His phone rang, but he didn't take it. He said, "No, the guy said he was going to call me at 11:30 and it's 11:36. I'll call him in 3 minutes." It was then I realized that I have been the subject of this type of petty control for over 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 104

The Top

Today, I was out with my dog, who loves to bury things. He had recently torn apart his toy and buried it in the sand. I saw a piece of it sticking out of the ground, so I picked it up. It turns out that I was not holding his toy, but rather a dead bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 382

You deserved it 2 783

Today, my wife and I went shopping for new glasses at a local store, but we didn't really get to actually buying one. On our way back, she warned me that my glasses of choice should in no way be 'those big arty ones'. When I asked her why not, she told me that I 'look gay enough already'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 765

You deserved it 6 364

Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 766

You deserved it 5 950

Today, I was driving and saw two hot girls on the sidewalk so I rolled down the window to whistle at them. However, I failed to notice that the car in front of me had stopped at a red light. I rear ended the car, the girls ran away laughing their asses off, and now I have to pay for the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 781

You deserved it 117 691

Today, I pointed out to my girlfriend that she wasn't jealous. She replied, "Well actually, I am, I just can't prove it cause no one else is interested in you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 941

You deserved it 4 252

Today, I got a surround sound system from my best friend. I didn't even have it hooked up when the sub woofer fell to the floor and smashed. I don't know if it can be fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 916

You deserved it 378