Love: Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about...

By ouch - 09/12/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about her weight. I told her not to worry, because it gives more cushion for the pushin' anyway. She picked up a lamp and threw it right at my dingleberries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 058

You deserved it 76 302

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/11/2010 19:09

Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 283

You deserved it 56 431

By Anonymous - 10/12/2012 18:09 - United States - Victorville

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 145

You deserved it 44 641

By justinherass - 28/03/2009 05:43 - Canada

Today, while lying in bed with my girlfriend, she was grabbing the fat on my stomach. I said to her, "Quit touching my fat!" She replied, "So don't touch you at all?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 898

You deserved it 24 991

Jonah begs to differ

By JOTA - 07/10/2020 04:02 - New Zealand

Today, my girlfriend told me she was worried about being eaten by a whale while out kayaking on our holiday tour. I told her that she was way larger than whale food, and that it wouldn’t be interested in her. Now she is accusing me of trying to tell her "nicely" that she's fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202

You deserved it 371

Healthy relationship

By scared - 24/06/2020 23:02

Today, I yelled at my girlfriend for something trivial. Instead of yelling back, she was scarily calm and said, "Remember, I’ve got 50 lbs on you. Yell at me again and I’ll lay a pillow on your face and sit on it until you’re dead." I think she might mean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 2 575

By anonymous - 27/02/2012 23:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I had my girlfriend over at my parents for dinner. When we were done, my dad went around to collect all the dirty plates and stacked them on his arm. When he got to my girlfriend, the weight became too much and he and the plates fell on top of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 752

You deserved it 2 994

By June - 05/10/2010 04:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 879

You deserved it 8 830

Trick question

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 21:57 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 592

You deserved it 33 669

Pound for pound

By Anonymous - 27/04/2021 14:01

Today, my girlfriend had a huge fight with me because while I'm trying to gain weight and she’s trying to lose some, I’ve still lost more weight than her. Not my fault my body’s natural preference is to drop pounds like they’re hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 139

By Anonymous - 10/07/2019 06:15

Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 589

You deserved it 259

awesome_o 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 20:16

YDI for calling them dingleberries

Telionis 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 20:18

I thought dingleberries were the result of poor wiping post bowl movement?

Comments

loucifer667 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 21:58

maybe she threw a lamp at your dingle-berries because they're gross! Perhaps if you weren't bending over with your cheeks spread, then your girl would not have had the misfortune of looking at your dingle-berries hanging of your butt hole! ... how about using some toilet paper to wipe your ass... perhaps a moist towelette.

Starfire22 5

Wednesday 9 December 2009 22:00

Wow your girlfriend is a jerk. Yeah, you could have been a bit more sensitive in your answer, but her response was uncalled for!

hollyemma92 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 22:10

well that was your own daft fault! haha

killurbeer 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 22:24

she threw a lamp at your asshole?

Funnyface20 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 22:29

my comments never show up damn it. if this one does then...****.

ClaireXX 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 22:32

Have you thought that maybe she isn't overweight? people keep saying that she should just have more self-discipline, but maybe she is at a healthy weight. Lots of women are concerned about their weight, no matter what it is. And his comment was uncalled for and very rude.

DeathShad0 1

Wednesday 9 December 2009 22:51

I'd say dump her. Do you want be around an abusive bitch for a girlfriend?

Dragonmouth 4

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:06

LOL. You're not going to be doing any pushin' for a while.

lissn 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:13

When a girl starts talking to you about her weight, you're screwed. There's no right answer for that

Rabbity 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:21

Concerned could just mean, "I've put on a few extra holiday pounds but I'm going to go to the gym." In which case the comment was uncalled for. Anyways, you're a jerk and she's a nut. You're perfect for each other!