Miscellaneous: Today, my grandfather showed up at my house in a panic. He rushed...

By notanightowlanymore - 05/01/2016 17:44 - United States - Clyde

Today, my grandfather showed up at my house in a panic. He rushed over, with a gun, because I wasn't answering his texts and he thought something had happened to me. I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 315

You deserved it 2 129

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Same thing different taste

Not funny

By Anonymous - 09/10/2015 18:02 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 169

You deserved it 2 697

By hellphone_fml - 01/07/2019 20:00

Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 375

You deserved it 654

By ToxicSuicide - 08/03/2011 06:47 - United States

Today, my babysitter called to inform me that my grandfather is stalking her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 876

You deserved it 2 952

By anonYmous - 26/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Boca Raton

Today, I received a phone call from my 91-year-old grandpa. He was lost driving somewhere in my town. I then spent the next few hours trying to teach him how to send his location until his phone died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 040

You deserved it 769

DON'T MOVE!

By Miller_Time - 18/03/2009 18:45 - United States

Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 823

You deserved it 8 704

By nipman - 25/04/2011 19:12 - United States

Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 201

You deserved it 3 855

By badgrandchild - 16/03/2009 21:01 - United States

Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 614

You deserved it 92 129

By tazthespaz - 29/12/2016 03:18 - United States - Comstock Park

Today, a telemarketer called my house phone and asked for my grandpa. We were in the middle of having his wake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 194

You deserved it 388

By FathersDay - 22/06/2009 05:27 - United States

Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 412

You deserved it 21 058

By Sean - 27/10/2010 10:04 - United States

Today, we surprised my grandpa by being at his house when he arrived. We haven't seen him in seven years. He had a small heart attack. It was his birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 149

You deserved it 8 070

may14th 26

Wednesday 6 January 2016 1:19

He just cares about you

Zelphoric 25

Wednesday 6 January 2016 1:19

No better alarm clock than a crazy old guy with a gun!!! You'll be out of your bed and out the door before you can say "Don't shoot me Gramps!"

Comments

Tiggerz101 10

Wednesday 6 January 2016 7:12

He sounds pretty bad ass to me. Lol

yniguez09 14

Wednesday 6 January 2016 7:45

Good ol grandpa.

amsterdamgirl 20

Wednesday 6 January 2016 9:51

it's a little bit out there but also kinda cool. he loves you!

momac86 17

Wednesday 6 January 2016 10:52

Be thankful that you still have a grandpa and that he cares about you

TheNewGuy03 28

Wednesday 6 January 2016 14:31

Despite him being irrationally possessive, the bright side to all of this is that if some shit goes down, you KNOW Grandpa has your back!!!

daynanance 9

Wednesday 6 January 2016 14:48

Your grandfather texts?

CosmicElk 26

Wednesday 6 January 2016 15:52

Hey OP it just means your granddad has your back, thats awesome :)

cupcakekate9 14

Wednesday 6 January 2016 16:24

I smell a Taken 4...

Distantsoul 8

Wednesday 6 January 2016 16:48

Overly attached grandparent

vikky538 28

Thursday 7 January 2016 2:10

Dont mess with grandpa's. They are real badass

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 403

You deserved it 15 010

Today, I failed a final presentation. My partner, who did none of the research, presented the entire project, talking over me and glaring when I spoke up. He denied everything and the professor didn't believe me. Now I have to retake this class with the same professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 605

You deserved it 287

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 520

You deserved it 5 176

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a paw slap, then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 727

You deserved it 15 845

Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I woke up right as the dentist pulled my last tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 394

You deserved it 3 484

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch, they showed me on the jumbotron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 857

You deserved it 8 569

Today, the family computer kept overheating. My four-year-old son thought the solution was to pour a nice, cold cup of water on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 022

You deserved it 1 241

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 818

You deserved it 7 056

Same thing different taste

Not funny

DON'T MOVE!

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