Miscellaneous: Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

By skichick54 - 24/08/2011 05:28 - United States

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 293

You deserved it 3 741

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Noname - 18/01/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, my house got egged and since it is the winter the eggs froze. They used two dozen eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 401

You deserved it 2 187

By egged - 01/10/2009 06:43 - Singapore

Today, I came home from work and found my house egged, and bricks thrown through my windows. I called the police, and submitted a report. Later that night, I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody was at the house, but there was a note saying "Sorry, wrong house". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 162

You deserved it 2 263

By Anonymous - 16/02/2017 06:00 - United States - Frederick

Today, I didn't think getting egged was a thing anymore until I found that my car got egged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 325

You deserved it 443

By socialdisease - 22/08/2011 15:58 - United States

Today, my house got egged. Why? As a joke, my friend bought me a doormat that says, "A Canadian Lives Here." I'm Canadian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 802

You deserved it 5 107

Damage control

By Anonymous - 11/08/2022 00:00

Today, I overloaded the washing machine and it flooded the downstairs. The flooring will have to be scrapped and drywall replaced. It's 100% my fault. Did I mention this is not my house? FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 1 154

By Lindso1 - 06/07/2018 01:30

Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 223

You deserved it 245

By COCKYmanUSC - 12/09/2011 02:50 - United States

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by. The attackers used water guns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 077

You deserved it 6 447

By elle - 23/05/2011 10:17

Today, I found out that the peaceful rain I'd been listening to all night was really a broken water-main flooding my entire yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 331

You deserved it 4 142

By wet - 23/04/2011 18:33 - United States

Today, the toilet on the top floor of my house burst, soaked the bathroom, and water dripped down into the kitchen and the basement for hours when nobody was home. Eight blowers and a dehumidifier later, the house is about 90 degrees and I can't leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 888

You deserved it 2 884

By Anonymous - 15/08/2011 02:39 - Reserved

Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 047

You deserved it 7 026

yummcookie 0

Wednesday 24 August 2011 11:50

Points for creativity surely?

afdude87 6

Wednesday 24 August 2011 11:51

That must've taken skill.

Comments

red1355 6

Wednesday 24 August 2011 12:33

Well that is creative. Next they will be throwing omlets.....lol

practicesafesax 0

Wednesday 24 August 2011 12:39

Hey at least it'll smell better....

OsirisFaction_fml 5

Wednesday 24 August 2011 12:45

o.o well...at least they were original.

FruityLoooons 8

Wednesday 24 August 2011 13:03

There's thinking outside the box for you.

misomalu 0

Wednesday 24 August 2011 13:09

& bacon strips & bacon strips & bacon strips & bacon strips & bacon strips & bacon strips & bacon strips

Rarah 0

Wednesday 24 August 2011 13:10

Men throw watermelons.

krysxkatastrophe 14

Wednesday 24 August 2011 13:11

Does insurance cover damage by watermellon? (Assuming it was your car/house/boat/whatever watermelloned.)

krysxkatastrophe 14

Wednesday 24 August 2011 13:21

Excuse me. I read the FML too fast, apparently. I totally didn't see the word 'house'. Ignore the second part of my post.

druv 2

Wednesday 24 August 2011 13:12

Everything's bigger in America

wiccankitteh 3

Wednesday 24 August 2011 13:29

Especially the people ._.

Havin 19

Wednesday 24 August 2011 18:06

Lmao!

s24sammy 8

Wednesday 24 August 2011 13:24

thats funny

MeB4u 0

Wednesday 24 August 2011 13:25

Are you black?

Keywords

Animals Cats Awkward Christmas Health Embarrassing Work Love Anniversary Boredom Abuse Ironic Intimacy Alcohol Am I overreacting? Drunk Transportation AITA Parents Gun control Kids Language Noise Mysterious Relatable Money Delivery Miscellaneous Food Family

The Top

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 797

You deserved it 9 485

Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished, I jokingly said, "Who's going to sleep in the wet patch?" He got up and said, "You're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing." It was my first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 573

You deserved it 4 529

The Top

Today, my neighbor's kid started learning the violin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 431

You deserved it 502

Today, after working at my summer job for 3 weeks, I was informed that I was too young to work there. I had contacted them 3 months prior and had given them my birthdate multiple times. I had also attended a special training in their corporate HQ, which I drove 7 hours both ways to get to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 142

You deserved it 335

Today, after expressing some of my reservations about the amount of work I have to do to accomplish my thesis on time, my graduate advisor compared my search for knowledge to Tom Hanks's odyssey in the movie "Castaway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 932

You deserved it 4 163

Today, I'd agreed to watch my friend's cats for a few weeks. I'd always promised myself not to become a "crazy cat lady" like her. It's the third day and I danced with the cats and apologised to them for my bad dancing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 502

Today, two girls who are in my class tried to talk to me about each other, not knowing the other had already spoken to me. They are best friends, but also hate each other, and seem to have taken me as the one to shit talk to about each other constantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 86

Today, I don’t think I’ve ever been so angry. I was already mad at my husband, but he asked if we could just skip the boring two-hour argument, assume he’d already given me an empty apology and quietly return to hating each other while at least being civil about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 365

Same thing different taste

Damage control

Top comments

Comments